(updated 19 Mar 04)

Hosted by El Guapo

"One Mill-yun Dollars!!! Mwuhahaha!!!"

COVINGTON, Georgia (AP) -- A Georgia woman who tried to use a fake $1 million bill to buy $1,675 worth of merchandise at Wal-Mart was arrested.
(Topic courtesy of chharget@aol.com)

Fake? As opposed to a genuine 1 million dollar bill? (BikeMike101@hotmail.com, mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

Of course the employees at that Wal-mart were on the lookout since the day before they had accepted a real million dollar bill. (bonniekurtca@sbcglobal.net)

The fraud would have gone undetected, except while trying to figure out how to make change, the clerks head exploded. (Truckerex@insightbb.com)

...and immediately deported back to Mississippi. (jaynashvil@aol.com)

She was later released from jail on a $1 million bond which she happened to have in cash. (rod.renner@juno.com, erniedacabdriver@netscape.net)

So, as the saying goes, money can buy happiness, but you'll still be dumb as a brick. (Porcell78@AOL.com) I don't get it.

She posted bail with a $2100 bill and was released on her own recognizance. (TZMAC@aol.com)

...And, she would have got away with if it weren't for a bunch of meddling teenagers and Scooby Doo. (coypsyche@aol.com) I get it.

What tipped them off was the picture of Bill Gates, he's on the billion dollar bill. (J@JulStone.com)

And the only reason she got caught was because the bill carried the portrait of Ernest P. Worrell, and the cashier just KNEW that a REAL $1 million bill featured a portrait of Dale Earnhardt. (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

The dead giveaway was that someone with a million dollars would never be seen at Wal-Mart. (standupkindaguy@aol.com)

She was sentenced to one year of remedial applied mathematics. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

Like there are any millionaires in Georgia! (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

The sharp-minded Wal-Mart cashier realized that the 1 million dollar bill was a forgery, after rubbing it with a special pen and holding it up to a light. (gambleandbluff@aol.com, MindgameFiziks@hotmail.com))

Sam Walton was outraged and said it was a sad day, and asked for all Wal-Mart employees to turn the yellow smiley's upside down. (tackajoey@aol.com) Sam's dead, but the idea's still funny.

In a strange twist of events, she has been found innocent by reason of insanity. The Jury determined a sane person simply could not have spent $1,675 at a Wal-Mart. (CoyPsyche@aol.com) Ya'll obviously don't know what Copenhagen goes for now-a-days.

It would have been $1,854 but she had some coupons (endocrom@aol.com)

The woman now faces a jillion years hard labor.... (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

... and the "Homey" goes to...

Finally! I've waited years for somebody to get busted on a "More than 12 items" charge. (seeker@vcoms.net, craigieb@aol.com)