"We're so sorry, he was such a sweet, sweet man."
NABUTAUTAU, Fiji -- Villagers in a remote Fijian community staged an elaborate ceremony of apology Thursday for the relatives of a British missionary killed and eaten there.
PSA- for those of you who want no part of the vicious Pun Wars held at HMO, please read past the next four volleys:
They weren't REALLY sorry... were just Fijian them a line. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)
This whole story sounds like a "Can-a-Bull-ism". At any rate, it's pretty hard to swallow. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) (OUCH, cheesier than Velveeta!)
After the ceremony a dinner featuring Fish and French Friars was served. (L1061S@go.com)
The remains were recovered when British officials raided "The Fij", a primitive native food storage device. (HerzogVon@aol.com)
... and now, back to our "normal" off-the-wall entries:
A grandson of one of the missionaries was heard to comment that the beef jerky served at the ceremonial dinner "brought back fond memories of grandfather". (email@example.com)
Had to be a ceremony. Don't think Hallmark makes a card for that. (firstname.lastname@example.org, Austinstoy@aol.com, et al)
FRENCH missionary was the featured entree at the reception following the ceremony. (email@example.com)
While the family wasn't officially invited for an "elaborate ceremony of apology" per se, they were "invited to dinner". (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I hate having to make those "day after the party" apologies (email@example.com)
... and this week's "Out of Left Field Award" goes to:
They blame it on their poor quality of old television reruns of "FISH" and "CHiPS". (firstname.lastname@example.org)
It all began as a tragic miscommunication when the missionary asked at the village restaurant if they served clergy there. (email@example.com) <insert Rim-shot here>
In their apology, the villagers added a complimentary comment about British missionaries being much better than the American Mormon's, who were always too salty. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
The Nabutautau Noshery was promptly dropped to one and a half stars in the latest Michelin Guide. (HerzogVon@aol.com)
Overheard in the serving line: "Hey, Dad, I don't care much for your friend." "That's OK, son, just eat your vegetables then." (firstname.lastname@example.org)
The formal dinner included liver, some fava beans and a light chianti. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net) "Thp-thp-thp-thp-thp"
Curses! Broiled again! (email@example.com)
The ceremony came to a quick halt, however, when it was revealed that the 'apology' was naming a hero sandwich after him (firstname.lastname@example.org)
... and the winner is ...
...now, will the relatives kindly step into the cauldron of shame as we light the fire of forgiveness, and add the spices of sorrow.... (MrglsJon@aol.com)