(updated 22 Mar 03)

Hosted by Jankath

(Title Stolen From Danko93@cs.com)

PHILADELPHIA -- Studies at the University of Pennsylvania show that male perspiration brightens women's moods, reduces stress, aids relaxation, and raises reproductive hormone levels.

What else would you expect from old P.U.? (Internutt9@aol.com)

Ladies, please! I only have two armpits! (KMurphyShelton@yahoo.com)

That explains why fat guys with vinyl carseats get all the chicks. (jaynashvil@aol.com)

How sweat it is! (internutt9@aol.com)

Well, no wonder the nerdy guys standin' next to those heat lamps in McDonald's are just babe magnets. (seeker@vcoms.net)

Thus explaining why she just *loves* it when I leave my used sweatsocks lying around. (comedian2000@hotmail.com)

Calvin Klein's new contradictory fragrance: Obsessive Repulsion (KittyBlueEyes@comdec.com)

So THAT'S why French guys never bathe! (sheltonbrianm@netscape.net)

Then why is Louie Anderson still single? (rangerxman@aol.com)

......Maybe for a fat guy he doesn't sweat much?

The new macho credo: Aspire to Perspire! (FlatsyCline@earthlink.net)

...While lazy males continue to just buy them diamonds. (samuraikc2002@aol.com)

Alcohol works, too. (Ttifranks9@aol.com)

Well, that explains Richard Simmons' "Sweatin' to the Oldies." (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

Dear HMO, I took your advice. Now how about helping me with the Alimony? (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

...Obviously, you should have followed our next entrant's advice:

So when you sweat, sweat responsibly. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

Today's winner, JoyfulDJoy@aol.com, knows it's not really a mission: impossible....it's just that so many men choose to disavow any knowledge of this simple truth:

So they needed a clinical study to prove what women already know: Get your butt off the couch and do something if you want to get any. (JoyfulDJoy@aol.com)