(updated 22 May 05)

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More Stupid than Hanging Chads!
(Header delegated by GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

MONTICELLO, WI -- (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel) A local government failed to hold a spring election that was required by law. Town Clerk Walt Weber said "We forgot." Officials learned of the problem when a voter asked on election day why no town offices were on the ballot. Gov. Jim Doyle will order a May 24 special election to fill the five offices. Weber said he is a candidate for re-election but added, "It wouldn't break my heart if somebody else took the job."
(Topic nominated by astae@paonline.com)

You're saying that having public offices vacated by skipping elections is a BAD thing. (strontium901@juno.com)

Teriffic! Now we can "forget" the 2000 & 2004 elections! (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com; Noncomposmentiss@aol.com) Look, if you voted: deal with it. If not: it's all YOUR fault, we coulda had a V8.

"We forgot?" Yeah, sure. Try that one with the IRS. (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com; astae@paonline.com)

If that had happened in Florida, I doubt anyone would have noticed. (jnmcda0@yahoo.com) Fat chance. Since 2000, the electoral sharks have had Florida surrounded.

Monticello, WI: Where the spirit of Jeffersonian Democracy is alive, but hibernating. (HerzogVon@aol.com; Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Finally, a 'foolproof' way for city/town officials to keep their jobs. (WJKbase@aol.com; MindgameFiziks@hotmail.com)

Badgers? We don' NEED no more stinkin' Badgers! (paracletus3@earthlink.net) (If you don't get the reference.... shame on you!)

Wisconsin's new state slogan: Come to Wisconsin...we have better drugs. (ParisLuvsMe@aol.com)

Atta Boy, Walt! Ole' Walt lives by the watchwords that made this country great: Inattention, Disinterest, and Apathy!!! (fishjean@sonic.net; astae@paonline.com)

The Mayor was so pissed off he yelled at the next meeting. "Telephones are not the tools of the Devil!! Let's pass a law they may be installed for whomever wants one." (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM) OOOOOOOOOOOOK....

Mayor Doyle added that if not re-elected, it would free up more time to go after the grand prize in the Mellow Yellow Monticello Cheddar Cheese Up to My Knees, Please! Sweepstakes. (marieracewalks@hotmail.com)

The candidates who had paid good money to bribe their way to win the elections were very, very angry. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

Too bad he's got the immunity necklace this year. (stan@squidworks.com) I'm proud to say I don't really get that.

Weber said it was not the first time this had happened, and hoped that President Eisenhower did not find out about it. (noncomposmentiss@aol.com)

We're talking about Wisconsin, OK? Well, it was a spring election, don't you know? Now, spring in Wisconsin has a way of passing unnoticed under the best of circumstances. (HerzogVon@aol.com) Nice accent!

"...a government for the People, of the People, and by the People, shall NOT perish..."----What does it get for 2 out of 3? (paracletus3@earthlink.net) 2 out of 3 at the plate would get you a $40 million contract with the (obscene gerund) Yankees.

Weber continued "And if it looked like someone else might win, we might forget to count the votes, what with my broken heart and all. Then we could forget to fund local programs, or run buses. You never know, with a broken heart." (changetion@gmail.com)

Sign that man up to be an HMO judge! (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com) We already HAVE a judge like that. We call it "Cad."

Runner-Up - Weber, get yourself N'Synch with the rest of the world:*

Mr. Weber said he was pretty confident its delay had something to do with Daylight Savings Time, but he wasn't exactly sure what. (ParisLuvsMe@aol.com) *I would like to personally apologize for that awful lead-in....

The Winner - The "Why?" chromosome in action again:

Doyle stated the reason he forgot the election's date was because it was the same day as his anniversary. (noveed@yahoo.com)