(updated 24 Feb 04)

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Go Verdi, it's yer berfday ...
(Title courtesy of dinosaur1972@aol.com)

Miami Beach, FL -- A US man has been ordered to listen to Verdi's La Traviata after playing 50 Cent's music too loud in his car.

The judge wondered who would name their child 50 cents and the man wondered if Verdi was an Italian inmate. (mychickenlips@aol.com)

In a related story... a London resident was recently ordered to play contests on the HMO website after repeatedly refusing to stop viewing the Victoria Secret website's virtual catwalk. (trilliumlife@aol.com) ...And "Vickie's Secret" was the best you could find? You've gotta be hating that firewall at work.

He was also ordered to drive a pick-up truck with a lift kit, gun-rack and mudding tires rather than his 1989 Ford Escort, lowered to the ground, with fat-ass street tires, tinted windows, neon license plate illuminator, and pine-tree shaped air freshener. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

Not only that, he has to carpool for a month with "The Three Tenors". (HerzogVon@aol.com)

The police ran out of room on the man's "rap" sheet... (Marcwwolf@aol.com, Airfarcewon@aol.com)

An interesting Verdi-ct. (skibip@aol.com)

The judge reversed his decision when the man later reappeared in court, brandishing a golden "church key" on a velvet neck ribbon, on charges of beating up the sommelier at Four Seasons and stealing four bottles of Chateau LeFite '49 and a case of Blanc de Blancs. (trilliumlife@aol.com) What, no Grey Poupon?

My guess is...the victim here is Verdi. (sheafitz1@netscape.com)

A clear case of 50 cents-orship. (khalazdad@adelphia.net) - Sounds like someone's channeling the ghost of AFW. (Be afraid, be very afraid.)

An accident occurred on South Beach Rd. this afternoon injuring three. Apparently the driver fell asleep while listening to Verdi's La Traviata... (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

But he got his sentence confused and ate at La Traviata for 50 cents. (mychickenlips@aol.com)

Now, that's not fair...maybe his radio was in-Opera-ble! (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

In a related story, the Italian prime minister is quoted as saying "who isa this 2.30 lira anyway?" (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

And the winner...

This just in: Miami Beach residents being terrorized by deafening volume of Verdi's La Traviata. (razcactus@netzero.com)