(updated 28 Jul 03)

Hosted by Jankath

(Title stolen from razcactus@netzero.com)

AUSTRALIA -- Scientists have developed software that can automatically log on a personal computer when it hears the computer owner's laughter.

Unless, of course, the PC thinks you're laughing at it. (TerriKlein@aol.com)

Nice to know I'll be able to log on just by looking at myself naked in a mirror! (MrglsJon@aol.com)

This is a modification to the version 1.0 "gas recognition" software. (razcactus@netzero.com)

Doesn't matter; most people don't understand why nerds laugh anyway. (n_zukowski@hotmail.com)

...Just remember to tickle behind the monitor... (ShilohBct@aol.com)

So under-endowed husbands should think twice about letting their wives have a computer in the bedroom! (Pastlivesr6@aol.com)

I guess that would be bad in some cases..Like when you're making out and it logged on cause you laughed and your husband IM's you cause you're in New York and he is in Florida.....Am I right? (greeniis14@aol.com)

....No - word on the street is - he's in Virginia.

Meanwhile, in Canada, computers download porn when hooked up to the Clapper. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

It has a 2.00 Giggleherz capacity. (TvOrNotTv1@aol.com)

Now if they could develop a version that works when my boss is coming... (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)

So is that why getting angry and threatening my computer with a baseball bat will not work? (motorbreath2000@netscape.net)

Thank you for calling the help desk. Please note that our help options menu has changed...Press 1 for log-on problems. *beep* Yo Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a species will become extinct. (princekenny2002@yahoo.ca)

As today's winner, n_zukowski@hotmail.com, knows...out of sight -- out of mime:

Mutes and mimes are currently putting together a discrimination lawsuit. (n_zukowski@hotmail.com)