Why Doggy-style, of Course
India -- An Indian girl was married recently to a stray dog in a ceremony attended by more than 100 guests in a Bengal village to ward off a bad omen.
The marriage was annulled shortly afterwards when it was determined that the bridegroom was not a virgin, a key requirement in warding off bad omens. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Another example of religious dogma lifting its ugly leg and peeing on the hydrant of reason. (HerzogVon@aol.com) Amen, Bro.
The ceremony was followed by a festive reception....unfortunately, only 4 out of the 100 got a leg (Aliciav29@aol.com)
It was the first time in human history that the words " I pronounce you husband and wife, you may now sniff the brides ass" were ever uttered. (email@example.com) (Probably not a first for Alabama)
And now the dogs of Bengal can rest easy. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Here it comes... wait for it..... Alright now, altogether folks... "Needless to say, her mother-in-law was a real bitch." (email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org; countless others)
Film of the honeymoon will be released on grainy black and white 8mm film. (Truckerex@wmconnect.com) Seedy. Twisted. Funny.
The village's last crazy marriage stunt failed to remove the omen when Michael and Lisa Marie got divorced too soon. (email@example.com)
This week's "Out of Left Field Award" goes to:
Something Borrowed, Something Blue, Avoid omens, my husband pee'd on my shoe!! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
My ex-wife claims the same thing happened to her. (email@example.com)
In a related story, after she got pregnant and gave birth, Mr. and Mrs. Dog were later arrested for littering. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
The cat's marriage to the local chief had to be offset somehow. (email@example.com)
The dog has already filed for an annulment; apparently she keeps him on too short a leash. (firstname.lastname@example.org, BikeMike101@hotmail.com)
Raintree Deertracks and her husband Barks At Mailman will be honeymooning in Cancun. (RodentsRred@hotmail.com) "Uh, Rod, you do know...?" "RRR, you realize that India... uh..." "Never mind, great entry!"
The only breed of dog to fit this situation would be a Jerry Springer Spaniel. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
And the winner:
And the bad omen was that there were no men in the village to marry, just dogs. (email@example.com)
And now, we unleash the punsters (the real reason that HMO will always ride the shortest bus on the internet)...
FYI: No points for these, just the pride in knowing that you made thousands of readers cringe. ;-)
"The bride received a Korean Cookbook for a present..... 'Wokking the dog'...." (AhOLHOL@aol.com)
They signed a pre-puptual agreement (firstname.lastname@example.org)
And do you, Bowser, take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife? Answer: "Vow Wow!" (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
I hope it was well-groomed. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
Married a dog? Is that legita-mutt? (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
She may be guilty of polygamy, because she married the dog and his four paws. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
I'll bet she was sari later on. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)