(updated 31 Jan 04)

Hosted by El Guapo

Time to home-school

Marilyn Manson told MTV Germany that he would love to become a school teacher one day.

Good thing he didn't tell MTV Alabama. (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com) I don't really get it, but I'll print anything that ribs Cadeaux.

...and a French maid the next day, and a cheerleader the day after that... (TerriKlein@aol.com)

In which case, he will wear glasses instead of contact lenses, subjecting him to his greatest fear, children calling him 4 eyes! (tackajoey@aol.com)

He just wants to teach Reading, wRiting, and sacRelige. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

Next season on NBC- Fear Factor, fourth grade. (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)

The following day, The German Teacher Protection Program went into effect. (randy.renner@juno.com)

However, it should be noted that "become a school teacher" is German for "commit serial sadistic ovine necrophilia." (Get out your dictionaries, kids!) (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net) I did. And you're sick.

Manson, formerly known as Voldemort, is currently applying for a position at Hogwarts to teach the Dark Arts. (rod.renner@juno.com)

Then he realized that he mixed up the German word for "school teacher" with the one for "ordained minister in the church of Satan." (tainsam@aol.com)

He suggested he'd teach Home Economics and Apocalypse 101. (chharget@aol.com)

Yep, warp their minds while they're still in the formative years. (rod.renner@juno.com)

Misquoted again. He actually said he would like to behead a school teacher one day. (astae@paonline.com)

The article failed to mention that "become a school teacher" meant dismembering a live school teacher and affixing the appendages to his own body. (razcactus@netzero.com)

He hasn't quite decided what he wants to teach. The Use of Disease Imagery in Medieval Literature or How to Get a Piercing Below the Waist and Not Cry Like the Woman You're Named After. (mcsestretch@hotmail.com)

And the latest entry to cause me to shoot hot chai-tea out of my nose...

Mary had a little lamb; its fleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go. It followed her to school one day, which was against the rule. The teacher drank the lamb's red blood, and gave the rest to Satan. (dinosaur1972@aol.com)