(updated 4 Aug 04)

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Just Jellyn'

Cairns, Australia -- James Cook University academic Lisa-Ann Gershwin said she believes a sting from an irukandji jellyfish tentacle, which causes excruiating pain, anxiety, paralysis and a potentially fatal rise in blood pressure, also causes prolonged erections in male victims.
(Topic suggested by Jnmcda0@yahoo.com)

...all of which can lead to a mighty embarrassing emegency room visit. (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

It is being marketed as "Extreme Viagra." (cdmauger@aol.com)

And the problem is.....??? (dstydream@aol.com)

It was later announced by Ben Affleck that Jennifer Lopez has exactly the same effect. (Mahoney_Chris@hotmail.com)

I'm Pfizer...Ooooh I'm SO worried !!! (skibip@aol.com)

So I guess that makes it a little hard-on the Aussie Jellyfishermen.. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) When so many of their collegues become stiffs.

Unfortunatly the high blood pressure that maintains the erections also causes the man's eyes balls to explode. But hey, your mom always said you'd go blind that way. (darkmanwork@hotmail.com) That's why you don't point it at your face.

The university has reserved the rights to sell this study to SPAM emailers. Your inbox may already have 50 messages: "G3T IrUkAnDjI 4 Fr33 aNd StAy HaRd!" (darkmanwork@hotmail.com; julie@blackbox.elsewhere.org)

Gershwin said, "A related jelly sting only prolongs erection, but this one is MUCH more fun to experiment with." (chharget@aol.com)

And they thought the side-effects of Viagra in healthy males were bad... (GerriHan65@aol.com)

It's kind of like Anna Kournikova hitting you with her tennis racket. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com) Nah, jellyfish play better tennis.

Headline in local newspaper reads: JELLYFISH STING DISCOVERY VERY BIG DOWN UNDER! (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Our runner-up this time wants to show you the meaning of pain... and toxin induced paralysis to a lesser extent...

They are also known as the "Dominatrix" jellyfish. (jdcoops3@aol.com)

Two winners. Woot!...

I think I used to go out with one of those... (rochford@netaus.net.au; casstigator@yahoo.com)