(updated 6 Sep 03)

Hosted by Jankath

(Title Insisted On By Everybody)

COPENHAGEN -- Researchers have determined that it takes longer for women who don't drink alcohol to get pregnant.

...Yes, but a lot shorter time figuring out who the father is. (corabelle@comic.com)

Researchers have also determined that there's no safe comment for a man to make about this fact. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

Researchers advise women to get drunk to speed up pregnancy. They also recommend smoking for tense mothers-to-be. (mrarteest777@aol.com)

These researchers brought to you by the fine folks at Budweiser. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

Well, of course - when was the last time a sober woman WILLINGLY slept with a man? (scalpel@aol.com)

Hell, I found that out with about uh, five or ten drop-out gals from AA. Who needs science? (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

My research has shown that it takes even longer for mace-toting women to get pregnant. (razcactus@netzero.com)

They further concluded really ugly women take longer to get pregnant unless it is by men who drink alcohol. A lot of alcohol. (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

New Drink..."The Babymaker." (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Upon hearing this news, fraternities everywhere began spiking their party kegs with Koolaid. (arch_deceiver@hotmail.com)

There's that extra five minutes of foreplay you have to account for when they're not liquored up. (Doug0320@aol.com)

After the first child, women don't have that problem. They drink plenty of alcohol. (lacee7700@aol.com)

Today's winner, mattcstone@mail.com, probably has lots of little "references" running around:

Cool! Now I'm a "researcher." Time to update the resume. (mattcstone@mail.com)