(updated 11 Dec 05)


Hosted by Jankath

Jury Duty

They called and they said, "You show up!"
I gave a loud cough and hiccup
"I'm sick." I replied
They knew that I lied
"Come in here when you sober up."
(HerzogVon@aol.com)


Doughnuts and coffee, oh boy!
Are the amenities the court systems employ.
For eight dollars a pop,
I get to feast on this slop!
Hanging this guy, I'm gonna enjoy!
(cmndrnineveh@aol.com)


Jury Duty is really a pain!
There's oh, so much reason to complain!
You spend hours awaiting
Your sense of civic duty deflating
Just to be told they can't use you again!
(cmndrnineveh@aol.com)


There once was a blond girl named, "Tooty"
Who was called to serve on jury duty
But, could not comprehend
No I.Q. to extend
Beyond The Blowfish And Hootie
(Airfarcewon@aol.com)


Trust me, I'd make a bad juror
In court, I'd just cause a furor
I've got ADD
And the urge to go pee
Each ten minutes, so you'd best be surer.
(GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)


Each jury duty notice in my name
Is thrown in the trash just the same
I then pour a drink
And laugh as I think,
"Let's see them prove that it came"
(DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)


You have no choice but submission
When summoned for jury conscription.
It's the one time in life
That due to the strife
I wish I had a felony conviction.
(shep@compascable.net)


Lawyer to the porn star said, "Don't worry!
A free woman, you'll be in a hurry.
On the panel, my friend
Are all your leading men.
There's no doubt this will be a hung jury!"
(monacof@bellsouth.net)


When the defense has come to a rest,
And the D.A. has given his best.
All that work is for naught.
I don't give it a thought.
She's not guilty! Just look at her breasts!
(jaytah@comcast.net)


I got a notice in the mail
Do jury duty or go to jail
The decision was easy
But I felt a bit queasy
Till my dear wife posted my bail!
(maxcel200@aol.com)


What? Cad's martini not good enough for ya?

I've heard the same nonsense for years
"You'll be judged by a jury of your peers"
Well if this is true
Your Honor, I ask you
How come they're not all holding beers?
(NonComposMentiss@aol.com)