If you want to hear from some cretin,
What he thinks about what he has eaten,
Just bring up the blog
Full of intellectual fog
Of Star Trek's "Wesley": Wil Wheaton.
When "defining moments" are lagging
And your intellect slightly dragging
To "Blogs" don't succumb
Use this rule of thumb,
Think of blogging as Internet bragging
Dear blogger: you brainless young Philistine
Your writing needs something like Listerine
Your mental transmissions
And dip$hit emissions
All stink, like your mind has gangrene.
So you blather all day on the Internet,
Writing of crap like how your table's set.
All that guys want to know
Is "Can you act like a ho?",
"Where's your pic?" and "Are you single, yet?"
A teen made his PC have fits
Eating up all the bytes and the bits
'Til his blog and porn ROM
Were found by his mom -
So now he gets plenty of "hits."
I wouldn't have started my blog
If my ex wasn't such a cheap dog
I called him a bastard
That skill, he has mastered
My "prince" turned out to be a frog!
What is the point of those "blogs"?
Intellectually, they're nothing but bogs
If in there is lurking
A brain that is working
I don't hear the turning of cogs!
I had no idea what a blog be
So I googled and finally I did see
An outlet for whiners
They all need some shiners
Now get back to work you cry baby!
My blog should have never been started
An idea from when my brain farted
I voice my opinion
At my cyber-dominion
But it only attracts the retarded.
My advice, to anyone who heeds it
Is don't start a blog - who needs it?
Mine's destined to fail
All I get is hate mail
And it's only my family that reads it.
Some guy built a high tech toboggan
To sell it, he just used his noggin
When, no calls he had
With a classified ad,
Like hotcakes they sold, with some bloggin
I read a blog written by Hobbes.
I hear that they flock there in mobs.
Now I can't understand,
Why anyone in the land,
Would do that 'stead of getting real jobs.
The blither and blather of BLOGS
Shows communication has gone to the dogs
To read them's disgusting
Causing headaches most busting
And leads to arterial clogs
Metrosexual males blogging today
Hope you'll listen to all that they say
Don't let them fool you
It's just an excuse to
Have a diary and not be called gay
Can he REALLY have the blues as a bazillionaire?
When he sits in his mansion without a care?
He used to report ,
News stories long and short,
Till his sources disappeared to who knows where:
Are blogs really considered news?
While expressing wing-nutty views?
Well, Gannon, man-whore,
Got in the press corps,
While Dan Rather is singing the blues.