(updated 5 Feb 06)

Hosted by Jankath

Well, the time has come for us to call it quits with this contest and ask you for suggestions for a replacement one. Now is the time for your voice to be heard....your vote counts and in order for us to count it...you have to vote...so let us know which contest you'd like to see come back...or send us your own suggestion.


I love you, my dear, 'til I'm red-faced and raw.
Your body still keeps me enthralled and in awe.
In no way are you lagging
But I've noticed some sagging.
I just think that it's time you start wearing a bra.

Men, they certainly do perplex
With words bent out of context,
Tell me from heaven above
Why does 'I want to make love'
Always mean 'I want to have sex'?

There are some that might call me cheap,
But to me it all sounds so bleak,
As if a sign from above,
Thought 'this must be love',
When my date said that we should go Greek.

I can't buy her just any old thing.
The same chocolates and roses lack zing.
I know better I guess;
She won't settle for less
Than a 10 carat brilliant cut bling.

There once was a man from above
Who claimed everything was love
He got nailed to a cross
In line with his boss
For the things that we shouldn't've.

Like cuttin' services tonight for the big game? See, if the 'Boys were playing, all services would be canceled, since even God would be watching:

I worship the ground you walk on, you know.
I'd do anything for you to make my love show.
But let's hit church on Monday
'Cuz come Super Sunday
My darling, My dear, I just ain't gonna go.

My wife was a real flirting menace
She dumped me and ran off with Dennis
To forget I play sports,
So, I get love of sorts,
The kind that they score you in tennis

Right in the middle of lovin'
The sweatin', bumpin' and shovin'
I found out my Diane
Was, in fact, a man
I think I'll stick my head in the oven

To Pinocchio, romance does not sing
Cause he's made out of glue, wood, and string
Celibate, he'll remain
Because girls all complain
Your love is a many splintered thing

There once was a spinster, Miss Nave
All her virginity, she did save
Celibacy was her pride
Till the day that she died,
When she finally got laid..in her grave

I'm so much in love with you
Every moment so fresh and new
Sharing life together
No matter what the weather
On perfectmatch.com pay per view.

Out, over, around, and through:

Some girls marry "up" to their betters,
Some opt to settle for bad debtors,
But from rich guys and bums
Why is it that LOVE only comes
To girls who can fill out their sweaters?