(updated 13 Aug 02)

Simon (from "American Idol"): What exactly would a date between you and "The Weakest Link" lady go like?

World War III. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

As soon as she realized who she was dating, she'd stop being so pompous and frigid and just love me for the sweet, generous man that I..why are you throwing up? (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

We'd each get the other off "orally". (L1061S@go.com) Or aurally...depending on who is verbally lambasting whom.

People would think we're arguing when we're actually making love. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

She would say "You have the weakest dink...goodbye!" (johnskeller@excite.com; Gigglgirl12@aol.com )

Spontaneous combustion. (kamasushi@aol.com)

With our noses stuck up in the air so high, I'd make sure it didn't rain or we'd BOTH drown. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

Oh great, another 15 minutes of fame-time for Zsa-Zsa...

It'd be a new FOX show called "When Minor Celebrities Attack". (peterson_mcbride@hotmail.com)