(updated 19 Aug 02)

Lisa Marie Presley: How do you figure this marriage (Nicolas Cage) will be different from the one with Michael Jackson?

We won't have to share makeup. (dakotadave57104@yahoo.com; Mistahtom@aol.com )

Those earthquakes caused by Dad spinning in his grave should finally stop. (SMiller234@earthlink.net)

I won't be the "man" this time. (Brendazilla@aol.com)

I don't have to wear that stupid surgical mask to kiss my husband. (steve_medel@oxy.com)

Our bedrooms will be less than 1000 miles apart. (donnyvike@aol.com)

One thing is for sure, I won't be accused of being a lesbian this time! (kurt@trident-metals.com)

Less monkey spanking. Lots less! (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

One's thingy is "Gone In 60 Seconds"...the other one "Beats It".. (gregparsons68@yahoo.com)

I can finally throw out all of those schoolboy uniforms. (rsherman@netplexgroup.com) Don't be too hasty.

I finally found someone tall, DARK and... well 2 out of 3... (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)

That wasn't a marriage it was a failed franchise agreement. (RangerXman@aol.com)

This time I get to go on the honeymoon and the ring bearer stays home. (ElmiraGlch@aol.com)

At least you get to moan this time around...

The only girlish moan in the bedroom will be mine. (leafs_fan02@hotmail.com)