Off The Record

The all new Martha Stewart "Jailbird" collection at K-Mart. (rocesblader02@hotmail.com)

I'm going to kill myself, and lay my body on a coffin filled with potpourri. (JunkMailMagnet42@aol.com)

Run for political office. (SMMFD1@AOL.COM)

Celebrity Boxing against Emeril Lagasse. (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com) Okay, this is our last Celebrity Boxing one for a while....so, for the love of all things sacred...stop! Whew...I am done now.

I'm actually looking forward to prison... It'll be the first action I'll have gotten in 15 years. (y2patton@yahoo.com)

Can't we talk about a vinaigrette? (FreeLooseDirt@aol.com)

I will create little origami things to give away from the subpoenas I am sent. (bchbums99@cox-internet.com) Sorry, Martha...we do the origamis around here...got me? Like Martha even knows I'm alive.

Can't sell her WorldCom stock she bought with the money she made from the insider trade. (DOrr@jam.rr.com)

I'm slated to guest host an upcoming episode of Trading Spaces: 'Joliet vs. San Quentin'. (mycroft@starmail.com)

God I hope Playboy makes an offer she cant refuse...Wait.Did I write that out loud? (flynnkj19@aol.com) Yes, and everyone knows who you are, flynnkj19@aol.com.

Back to catering bar mitzvahs in the Bronx. (Cantw82paint@aol.com)

Could be pressing shirts in the prison laundry instead of pressing flowers for decorative means! (pec@gis.net)

"I'm selling Disneyland!" (polaris75@aol.com)

New line of Insider Trading Cards. (kamasushi@aol.com)

This would be an example of "Life is Good"...

Catering Michael Skakel's Birthday Party. (paul.north@yale.edu)