(updated 31 May 02)

Madonna: Are your bad UK reviews going to affect any future theatrical performances?

That hasn't stopped me before! (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

You know, I don't remember anyone reviewing me as "UK", just "horrid" and "awful". (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

Of course not. I firmly believe I am capable of sucking on any stage in the world. (Rexwurx@aol.com)

Oh, I only paid them off to give me bad reviews...the press never covers the good stuff...I'm not stupid. (PhsycoDrD@aol.com)

Taste is so overrated. (tw_holmes@hotmail.com)

No, I'll just make sure to have sex with the reviewers next time. (jnmcda0@yahoo.com) The perks of being an artiste?

Yep, it's time to dust off the old bra cones. (RangerXman@aol.com)

I think the only reason they gave me those bad reviews was because they couldn't understand my heavy American accent. (JuicyFruitness@aib.net)

UK them...I've got money to burn! (Serendipity@pink.com)

Yes, I'm no longer interested in doing "Five Guys Named Moe" in the West End. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

Are we talking "Shanghai Surprise" bad or just "Desperately Seeking Susan" bad? (Samohtfm@aol.com)

Well, that's it...I'm not helping the British by doing another Austin Powers song. (MakeitaDouble@ISU.edu)

That Madonna...never one to put her foot in her mouth...

Well, the last time I got paid to suck on stage, it was entirely different. (zuzupetals@films.com)