Off The Record

First man to have sex while flying a balloon "solo" around the world. (singerk8e@aol.com)

"Yes, I'm going to try to be the first person to hang-glide around Marlon Brando." (paul.north@yale.edu) Yeah, stand in line, bud.

Try to fly home in a commercial plane without a delay - it could take many more attempts than my balloon trip did. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

I'm going to inhale all the helium from my balloon and perform "The Chipmunks Greatest Hits". (rsherman@netplexgroup.com)

I plan to invent a port-a-potty for balloons. (Cantw82paint@aol.com)

I am going to finish my Womanese-to-English dictionary so that we men no longer have to suffer in silence. (peterson_mcbride@hotmail.com) Like suffering any other way would be better somehow?

I've spent most of my life trying to fly around the world in a balloon... To be honest, I haven't thought about the future since I've devoted so much time to something so stupid and pointless. (y2patton@yahoo.com)

I will attempt a new Guinness World Record for the fastest thaw of a pair of frozen cajones. (peterson_mcbride@hotmail.com)

With my knowledge of things filled with hot air, I plan to run for office. (Melichior@aol.com)

"Yes. The next time I'm going to be the first man to fly a balloon around the world without stopping for directions." (polaris75@aol.com)

Unlimited money does not equal unlimited intelligence...

I'm gonna pay someone else to beat my record. (mycroft@starmail.com)