(updated 11 May 08) 

Baseball Confrontation

The Tri-Winners:

At times, the batter could be a regular Astro. (humorbear@aol.com)

"You're out!" ... "So are you!" (Mashallaha@aol.com)

Batter: "You better start watchin' those pitches with one-eyed Willie, cuz you're blind in your other two!" (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

I've never heard of illegal pitching of a tent. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

"See! Your pants ARE on fire!" (e-merlin001@hotmail.com)

"Can you try to find my contact lens? I'm legally blind." (Maxcel200@aol.com)

"So it's true! If you DO play with it too much, it makes you blind. That's why you didn't see I was safe!" (arlenekader@aol.com)

Apparently not EVERYTHING's bigger in Texas. (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

"Well, fans, it looks like baseball is back! The designated hitter wants the umpire to check his balls!" (retrometro@rogers.com)

One of the more embarrassing moments of "Dancing with the Umpires". (seeker@vcoms.net)

If mine were that small, I'd be making those wussy calls, too! (e-merlin001@hotmail.com)

"This is why your wife likes me to pinch hit for you!" (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

"Look, no matter how much you demonstrate to me...you can only score with RUNS, not POINTS!" (guitartexn@aol.com)

"HEY UMP!!! Don't look now but that last runner isn't the only thing out around here." (lovepeaceguy68@aol.com)

"Yes, the pitch hit me! That was a personal foul!" (retrometro@rogers.com)

Batter to Ref: "And I say I was as safe as your Willie in that steel cup supporter!" (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

The auditions for the new "American Gladiator" just keep getting worse. (seeker@vcoms.net)

"I'm not out. You're the one who's out, dude. Zip it up, will ya?" (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Keep my eye on the ball...Keep my eye on the ball... (fparsons@yahoo.com)

'Yah, well yer wife says that's foul too.' (draugr@gmail.com)

"Why don't we check THAT for cork?" (e-merlin001@hotmail.com)

"No sir, it's two balls, one strike." (PAdams002@hotmail.com)

Umpire: "I hang to the right." Player: "No, you clearly hang to the left... see?" (AntKitty556@aol.com)

"I told you you can't tell the difference between balls and strikes." (DReale12@aol.com)

"For the thousandth time: I KNOW yours does that..but mine kind of goes like THIS...you see?" (jsweet0024@yahoo.com)

"I saw it! You popped wood right there!" (pcorradin@comcast.net)

"Oh, so it's OK for you to tell everyone in the stadium I have two balls on me but when I say it you get all pissed off!!" (steve_medel@oxy.com)

"I see you're hiding extra balls and a bat in there." (luganrn77@yahoo.com)

"Of course it was a fly ball! Look where it hit you!" (retrometro@rogers.com)