(updated 21 Sep 09) 

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Talking on the Cellphone

The Quad-Winners:

"No, I'm the one with the green boa." (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

"Hello, repair shop...there's something wrong with my gumball machine...it keeps stiffing people." (maxcel200@aol.com)

One of the few machines where you put a quarter in and you get two balls... (arlenekader@aol.com)

"You're breaking up and so is everyone around me!" (retrometro@rogers.com)

The Runners Up:

I can say with absolute certainty, I will NEVER chew gum for the rest of my life. (Truckerex@comcast.net)

Thank God this will be staying in Vegas! (rampage1984@msn.com)

"Hello, psychiatric hot line, can I help you?" (maxcel200@al.com)

I guess we have really underestimated the effects of cell phones on their users. (motorbreath2000@aol.com)

Ya gotta have a lot of balls to do this! (maxcel200@aol.com)

Bob thought the Spree dispenser in the front was a brilliant idea but the Raisinettes dispenser in back was an abject failure. (mcsestretch@gmail.com)

Cher tries to revive her career by appealing to the "bubblegum" genre. (mykehalpinstudio@aol.com)

"With nuts or without?" (e-merlin001@hotmail.com)

An original Gummy Bare. (maxcel200@aol.com)

"No, no, no, gumball-kinis are totally in this year.. people can't take their eyes off me!!!" (gastlamba@yahoo.com)

When your mother said "NEVER TAKE CANDY FROM STRANGERS", THIS is the stranger she meant. (kamasushi@gmail.com)

The newest deterrent for eating too much candy. (arlenekader@aol.com)

"No you can not diddle my Skittles!" (sahdogmom@aol.com)

Don't even ask about the candy dispenser on his back. (Truckerex@comcast.net)

Despite their new, aggressive marketing campaign, PEZ sales continue to drop in the San Francisco Bay area... (wamii_69@yahoo.com)

I hate to ask, but where's his dollar changer? (luganrn77@yahoo.com)

Why it's not a good idea to make Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory a musical... (arlenekader@aol.com)

"Phone Home"...I said "Phone Home" now dammit!! These earth people are just too weird. (nancymcf12@aol.com)

"Hello, Doctor? I'm pretty sure the implants should have gone UNDER the skin. Yes, I'll hold." (jaynashvil@aol.com)

It takes a lot of gumption to wear that. (Electronicwaffle@yahoo.com)

Bruno-auditioning for the "can you hear me now?" part. (guitartexn@aol.com)

Do not believe him when he tells you the gumballs are sticky because they must have "melted"; especially if they are salty. (madavis62@windstream.net)

"NO! Damn'it!!! I said I'm almost out of GUM!" (dennisilvr@aol.com)

"I've already sold twice as many candies as I did yesterday....Oh, yeah, I didn't sell any yesterday." (retrometro@rogers.com)

"Yes, I'm on my way now...I can't wait to meet your parents!" (gerg17@comcast.net)

"If I don't get these refilled soon, the party's gonna be a dud!" (craigieb@hotmail.com)

"Hi, hunny, my new outfit is sweet, but I am not too sure about the hair." (vmallalieu@ntlworld.com)

Penny for your thoughts.... (DaJakAiss@optonline.net)