(updated 22 Jun 06) 

Walking the Line

The Tri-Winners:

Life Lesson #48: Going home with a fat drunk biker at 2 a.m. actually CAN be the lessor of two evils. (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

"Sure, it's easy for you...look how wide your line is!" (Airfarcewon@aol.com; brat.cat@verizon.net)

Lindsay Lohan keeps in shape by taking a short walk everyday. (maxcel200@aol.com)


The Runners Up:

The stolen vehicle was quickly turned over to the police. (vinyllover45@yahoo.com)

"Whew, this is tough, officer, I need a drink." (NITRAMXXX@aol.com)

"Nice Riverdance, hon. Now just walk!" (monacof@bellsouth.net)

Though she passed the breathalyzer, the fashion police were called in to make the arrest. (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

"Officer, don't you think drawing a white line next to a white line is rather redundant?" (fbmarz@earthlink.net)

"OK, but after I walk this line I have to go finish that phone call I was on." (lexkase@san.rr.com)

"Gee, Miss, that's the best I ever seen anyone do that with 87 broken bones." (maxcel200@aol.com)

Deputy Johnson found it amusing to make the suspect draw their own straight line for the sobriety test. (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

"Of course I'm barefoot. You don't think I could have dialed the radio with my shoes on, do you?" (skibip@aol.com)

"See, you're so drunk that the only way for you to walk the line is to draw it wonky." (phil82@blueyonder.co.uk)

Sally was doing just fine until she tried to walk up the officer's pants. (toohip4rm@aol.com)

Twelve steps from a 12-step program. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

"Oh, no! I HATE line dancing!" (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

"I swear, officer, I can't walk this line because of the concussion, not the alcohol." (stan@squidworks.com; MindgameFiziks@hotmail.com)

Night of the Living Ambien Users (rod.renner@juno.com)

Lindsay Lohan … In Herbie 2 (fparsons@yahoo.com)

"Now work the hips a little, more bottom lip, now sassy eyes and twirl!" (j_perreaux@hotmail.com)

"C'mon officer, I'd much rather snort it than walk it." (skibip@aol.com; robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

All was well until the officer realized that zombies are immune to the effects of alcohol. (woactome@yahoo.com)

Does anyone else hear Johnny Cash or is it just me? (CoyPsyche@aol.com)

"The balance beam is at ground level, but you're fairly high." (dennisilvr@aol.com)