(updated 23 May 06) 

Goth Gathering

The Co-Winners:

If they got any happier, a funeral might break out. (phil82@blueyonder.co.uk)

"I think the depressing nature of life can be summed up in the work of Nietzsche, Marilyn Manson, and Squidward." (cdmauger@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

The other Goth kids made fun of her until they found out that use to be the real SpongeBob… (fparsons@yahoo.com)

Oh, it must be time for the yearly sacrifice. Whatever. (mikepena@verizon.net)

The great part about "anti-social" group gatherings is that we still don't talk to each other.. but we do it together. (mitchwatts@yahoo.com)

The local nuclear power plant had to be shut down since the Goth gathering was just close enough to completely suck the energy out of it. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Proof that "black makes you look slimmer" is a total myth. (rockyhorrr@aol.com; GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

She was going to be kicked out for wearing color, but then she got all whiny and moody and convinced everyone she was just being ironic. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

"You see, Jennifer, Shelley and I are convinced that there are large parts of this whole 'Goth' thing that you just aren't getting... (lilfishjean@comcast.net)

Who makes their face white and eyes dark as can be? SpongeGoth BlackPants! (j_perreaux@hotmail.com)

"Hey Patrick... what's a vampire?" (goldielinn@yahoo.com)

After his television show was cancelled, SpongeBob tried a brief stint as a fill in for 'Where's Waldo", sadly this failed as a bright yellow square can be hard to miss. (moonwolfnsc@aol.com)

When Worlds Collide. (Kamasushi@gmail.com)

There was a disturbing lightness of mood at the Goth gathering. Nobody could put their finger on it. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

At last the time was right, Operation 'Wouldn't it be funny to seed the clouds with bleach on Goth Gathering day' could at last begin... (thedraugr@yahoo.com)

Pat's last undercover assignment is about to end. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com; sheafitz1@netscape.com)

You should see her Barbie lunchbox! (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

The 1998 International Falls 'High Heat Absorption Experiment', sponsored by the Cartoon Network. (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

"I want to be different from everyone else." (megan.renner@juno.com)

"...and this is Susie, the perky Goth." (jaynashvil@aol.com)

"Sure it's weird, but you should see the dude with the Patrick change purse." (scalpel@aol.com)

See, SpongeBob's not turning our kids gay, he's making them depressed! (stan@squidworks.com)

"Oh thank God! A ninety percent chance of hail and thunderstorms. The gathering may not be a complete bust after all." (tpanner@hotmail.com)

"You can hang out with us, on one condition..." (j_perreaux@hotmail.com)

Black is the new black. (kayladykay@aol.com)

"So what happened to that no good freeloading boyfriend that used to sponge off you?" (maxcel200@aol.com)

Oh my god, it's a 'Hot Topic' fashion show. (Artemis31386@aol.com)

Who lives on the back of a Gothie girlie? (Chick65@aol.com)

As soon as I get this witch off my back I'm gonna get me some of THAT! (luganrn77@yahoo.com)

Wanna start an angry mob? Just say, 'Anyone heard of Peter 'Smurphy'? :) (thedraugr@yahoo.com)

She's also wearing one of those Elmo bras! (mimsydivine@earthlink.net)

"Yeah, I know it's not really all that Goth, but it's a great place to store my meth." (Kamasushi@gmail.com)