(updated 2 Oct 08) 

Cigar Lady

The Tri-Winners:

Everyday's Mardi Gras when you smoke doobies this size. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Who says smoking isn't glamorous?! (ronxian@bak.rr.com; luganrn77@yahoo.com)

An old drag queen. (maxcel200@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

No, my doctor doesn't tell me to stop smoking. He died years ago. (tphyll@aol.com)

"Can I have your auto....Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were George Burns." (retrometro@rogers.com)

I don't care how old she is - Madonna has still got it goin' on !!! (ronxian@bak.rr.com)

"I used to be pretty hot....Now I'm SMOKIN'!" (retrometro@rogers.com)

Another satisfied customer of the 'Louisville Free Face'. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

The #1 reason to quit smoking -- she's only 27 years old. (rod.renner@juno.com)

That's right, we're a unionized brothel and Edna has seniority. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

Boy has Monica Lewinsky let herself go. (rampage1984@msn.com)

Are there no lengths 'Big Tobacco' won't stoop to? (seeker@vcoms.net)

Phase One of David Duchovny's sex addiction therapy. (gerg17@comcast.net)

"Hey, Jerry -- I dare you to give Grandma a Boobie Scarf." (YukiMerricoon@aol.com)

Wow! Cyndi Lauper sure is looking old. (AntKitty@antics.org)

Passerby: "Hey lady what do you attribute to longevity?"
Lady: "I smoke crack, Drink whiskey & turn tricks on the corner but I do moisturize myself with lotion every night."
Passerby: "WOW! Just how old are you?"
Lady: "26." (DOrr221@comcast.net)