(updated 31 Jan 09) 

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Wedding Party

The Quad-Winners:

They do make a lovely pair! (MrMisterman@aol.com)

Looks like someone spent a little too much time on their 'hope chest'. (jd8375@msn.com)

That dress gives a whole new meaning to the term "off the rack"! (mashallaha@aol.com)

It was at their reception that they had their first falling out. (bigbowsie@gmail.com)

The Runners Up:

I bet the diamond isn't real either. (iambatmania@hotmail.com)

Of all the wedding dresses she tried on, her cheapskate father would only pay for the one that was half off. (retrometro@rogers.com)

"Does this dress make me look flat?" (rod.renner@juno.com)

Barbara's coming out party turned out to be a big bust! (maxcel200@aol.com)

The honeymoon will be near Lake Titicaca. (tphyll@aol.com)

Oh my God! I want to be there for the Hokey Pokey! (mashallaha@aol.com)

Red Carpet for the opening night of the Playboy production of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf". (seeker@vcoms.net)

I am so proud of her, she is marrying a plastic surgeon. (Mashallaha@aol.com)

Who said she could wear Gramma's wedding dress? (loisrx@gmail.com)

This is what happens when pantyhose are too tight. (Truckerex@comcast.net)

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something boob... (guitartexn@aol.com)

Optical illusion: If you stare long enough, buildings and cars will appear in the background. (spjk2k@notalentproductions.com)

Gaudy pink corsage? How tacky! (skibip@aol.com)

"Do you, Boob, uh, Bob, fake tits, er, take this woman to be your awfully breasted, sorry, lawfully wedded wife? Do you promiscuous, um, promise to rub on her pair, I mean love, honor, cherish, and cleavage, uh, cleave to her, to have and to ho, er, hold, for bra her at once, I mean better or worse, for richer or poured out, I mean poorer, in silicone hell, sorry, sickness and health, til death two new parts, that is, do you part?" (spjk2k@notalentproductions.com)

Hey! Put those airbags back in the limo! (irochford@optusnet.com.au)

Are you sure it's a wedding? Looks more the Golden Globe Awards. (Airfarcewon@aol.com; mashallaha@aol.com)

The Ghost of Christmas Pasties arrives at the premiere of "Ho for the Holidays". (spjk2k@notalentproductions.com)

Not even married yet...Julie uses up all her husband's duct tape to hold her dress in place. (steve_medel@oxy.com)

I think her name was June, 'cause she was busting out all over. (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

Karen must be allergic to alcohol; Her breasts swell when she drinks. (arlenekader@aol.com)

How many boobs can you count in this picture? (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

"Here comes the bride...half dressed in white...." (retrometro@rogers.com; strollo5@embarqmail.com)

My God, what a big pair of.....limos !! (jdcoops3@aol.com; sunjonesboro@yahoo.com)

This is what happens when you look for 15% off your wedding dress. You get it! (sheafitz1@netscape.com)

They're honeymooning in Silicone Valley? She should blend right in! (monacof@bellsouth.net)

Minister: "Do you take her handful--er, hand in marriage?" (jaynashvil@aol.com)

I don't know what my son sees in her to marry her. She's just a poor farmer's daughter. (DOrr221@comcast.net)

Damn you double-sided sticky tape...that shit never came off even while she was doing the chicken dance. I know, trust me! (MrMisterman@aol.com)

You never know what they'll come up with on the all-new Project Runway! (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

OMG I'd die! Look at the size of the zit on that girls nose! (CoyPsyche@aol.com)

Hey, isn't that the same girl who jumped out of the cake at the bachelor party? (retrometro@rogers.com)

Be honest, now! How many of you guy are hoping the bride drops her bouquet and HAS to bend over... (GerriHan65@aol.com)

Designer wedding dress: $6500 Limousine service: $250
Photographer: $2500
Embarrassing your future children with Mommy and Daddy's wedding pictures: Priceless. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

Unfortunately, the bride had the implants put in AFTER she was measured for the gown. (retrometro@rogers.com)

"Pssst... John, XYZPDQ!, the photographer is here." (madavis62@alltel.net)

She was the Flower Girl at our wedding. She sure has blossomed. (esh3404716@aol.com)