(updated 31 Mar 08) 

Man and Car
(Photo submitted by futtbucker@ralph.com)

The Co-Winners:

Now all he has to do is flush the radiator and he's ready to go... (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Reminds me of when my last car petered out. (gerg17@comcast.net)

The Runners Up:

Budweiser, where quality is Job #1. (l2893s@gmail.com)

And here I thought 'carjacking' meant something else! (gerg17@comcast.net)

I love my car. I really, really, love my car. (Truckerex@insightbb.com)

His own OPECKER fuel. (humorbear@aol.com)

The guy's making a fuel of himself. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

If his blood alcohol level is high enough it might work. (rampage1984@msn.com)

Fortunately, this station is self-serve only. (l2893s@gmail.com; tphyll@aol.com)

I guess the beer is there so he can top off the pickup too (l2893s@gmail.com)

Ever since his doctor put him on diuretics, Uncle Mark can once again -- "Fill 'er up!" (sadsack59@hotmail.com)

So, if you car doesn't start, you know urine trouble. (stan@squidworks.com)

Warning! Senile Alert! At picnics with Grandpa, always check your thermos before drinking... (humorbear@aol.com)

Gives new meaning to the words "fuel injection". (steve_medel@oxy.com)

Hmmm...I wonder how he refuels a dump truck? (gerg17@comcast.net)

Drivers are completely p***ed off at the price of gas (retrometro@rogers.com)

Calvin's new energy fuel is pretty zippy.. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Yes, I know, but is the temperature of gasoline relevant? (seeker@vcoms.net)

This car really gets piss-poor gas mileage. (rod.renner@juno.com)

It's cheaper than gas, and by the redness of his face, I'd say the octane is a lot higher, too! (banks.del@gmail.com)

A leak in the gas tank. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Also comes equipped with front, rear and side colostomy bags. (maxcel200@aol.com)

I'm no car expert, but I thought the dipstick measures the oil level, not fuel. (gerg17@comcast.net)

One reason the 2006 Pontiac Privy was not a big seller. (gerg17@comcast.net)

Don't worry - the car will start. He just knocked off a bottle of vodka. (jrgracey1@aol.com)

Why IRS agents should never have their home addresses in the phone book. (gerg17@comcast.net)

I know we're supposed to be going green, not going yellow. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

Ron Jeremy checking out how much fuel is left in the tank. (skibip@aol.com)

"I'm just trying to screw in the gas cap." (tphyll@aol.com; rod.renner@juno.com)

A NASCAR fan performs an unsanctioned pit stop. (jaynashvil@aol.com)

The rental agency wants it returned with a full tank. (mashallaha@aol.com)

There's only about two gallons left. When are you going to get the fuel gauge fixed? (e-merlin001@hotmail.com)

"....And now to the garage for the petroleum jelly!" (retrometro@rogers.com)

"I've got five daughters. It's either this or pee in the sink." (tpanner@hotmail.com)

"The last time I did this, I flooded the engine!" (retrometro@rogers.com)

"This will teach that young punk to cut me off in traffic!" (AntKitty556@aol.com)

"Who cares if I don't have a pot to pee in." (SahDogMom56@aol.com)

Come on...can't this dude do this in the wee wee hours of night? (humorbear@aol.com)