(updated 3 Nov 06) 

Rubber-Faced Guy

The Co-Winners:

After ten years of "Do I look Fat", evolution kicked in to give Bill the perfect defense mechanism. (fparsons@yahoo.com)

She never kissed him on the forehead again either... (CoyPsyche@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

Another good reason to stay the hell away from wherever that is. (scalpel@aol.com)

"Well, he can stretch but he's hardly Mr. Fantastic." (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Men will do anything to see cleavage. (timamod@aol.com)

Kilroy is here again. (MRUS502@aol.com)

"I know it's a bit of a stretch, but will you go out with me, nice lady?" (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Barb was amused, but still thinks Tom Cruise is freakier. (wedrixe@netscape.net)

"Silent Hill 2": The comedy (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

His NOT so subtle hint to shut up went unnoticed. (fparsons@yahoo.com)

Is this what they call "rubber-necking"? (murdoctor@aol.com)

I am only doing this so you will let go of my jewels, that really hurts. (NITRAMXXX@aol.com)

Wattle he think of next? (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

Phil gravely misunderstood Angie when she told him she liked going to the park and necking. (brat.cat@verizon.net)

Fearing a decline in viewer ratings, David Blaine opts for plastic surgery to wow his audience. (holtbolt@comcast.net)

Must-not-let..tongue..hang out..over boobs! (strontium901@juno.com)

Officer! This man was mouthing off at me! (irochford@optusnet.com.au)

It's no skin off of my nose that you can do that! (rod.renner@juno.com)

She's found "The Dream Man"...little body hair, no way to get drunk, and unable to speak. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

"Wow, Harold! I think you've just invented the oral sex condom!" (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Liposuction has its drawbacks. (j_perreaux@hotmail.com)

If only he could do that with his tongue, then she'd be really impressed. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

"That's great! Now do 'see' and 'hear'." (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com; Airfarcewon@aol.com)

"Hey baby, my face isn't the only place I have a lot of extra skin!!!" (steve_medel@oxy.com)

"I must say John, you are better looking when you that." (NITRAMXXX@aol.com)

Well, she DID tell him to wipe that stupid grin off his face! (dakotadave57104@yahoo.com)