(updated 7 Jul 07) 

Body Builders

The Quad-Winners:

"I got started taking lids off pickle jars - And you?" (mashallaha@aol.com)

BUILDERS?!?! Someone stop them... Quick... They are using the wrong set of blueprints!!!! (fparsons@yahoo.com)

"My Mom always said that ballet classes were for pussies...but, I find I get more here at the bodybuilding ones." (ParisIuvsMe@aol.com)

"Oh, he puts the seat down NOW!" (tstrontium90@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

"Ya, I can crack walnuts between mine too." (mashallaha@aol.com)

"It didn't quite work out as I planned...My sex change operation...To get in touch with my feminine side." (maxcel200@aol.com)

Biflexuals (noncomposmentiss@aol.com)

"You just put it on your chest and it pulls all the hair right off" (l2893s@gmail.com)

"Just a sec, I've got to tape my penis down." (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

"Later, let's go out and pick up some guys." (maxcel200@aol.com)

"... and then he wanted to split the check so I crushed his f@%&ing head." (shep@compascable.net)

"Don't your balls hurt, all scrunched up in this outfit? I know mine do!" (guitartexn@aol.com)

"Not since 1989. You?" (ReineDeDouleur@yahoo.com)

Love blossomed when Hildegard gave her a gift certificate for a free back wax and shave. (odinsonthewise@yahoo.com)

"Don't tell anyone but I've gone strapless...jock strapless!" (maxcel200@aol.com)

"Hard work? Nope! This is all natural! My dad's Hulk Hogan." (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

"Don't you just love it when they call you a Girlie-man?" (l2893@Gmail.com)

Administrative assistants in the BALCO reception office. (AuntShecky711@aol.com)

Don't miss celebrities Fabio and Lou Ferrigno on the new reality series, "Transgender Surgery With the Stars" this fall on Fox. (noncomposmentiss@aol.com)

"This new maxi-pad I'm using makes my balls itch." (DOrr221@comcast.net)

"Have you been in re-ab, yet?" (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

These two Dutch girls prepare to hold back the floodwaters on the Holland coastline. (banks.del@gmail.com)

"Is 'bull dyke' one word or two, Mary, I forget." (LouMizzou@yahoo.com)

There's a lot of duct tape in those crotches. (ReineDeDouleur@yahoo.com)

Yeah, that sticky tape threw me for a loop too, but it goes up against your underwear, see...like mine here. (ParisIuvsMe@aol.com)

"My husband said my new pants made my butt look big, so I crushed his head between my thighs." (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

"It's heartwarming to see the joy on their faces when the HGH supplies come in." (odinsonthewise@yahoo.com)

"Oooh, Russian performance enhancers! How did you know it was my birthday, Stev...er...I mean Cindy?" (zenphoenix@yahoo.com)

"Say! Is that a bulging groin muscle or are you just happy to see me?" (l2893@Gmail.com)

"Mom, do you ever have that less-than-pumped feeling?" (mahoneycjm@comcast.net)

"I'd spot you in a second!" (davidgotribe@aol.com)

Hmmm...Well, I guess the Kotex proves the one on the right really IS a woman. As for the one on the left...I just don't know... (MissusMikeyD@aol.com)

"I just registered my boobs at Victoria's Secret Weapons." (maxcel200@aol.com)

Say no to drugs! (imwednesdayaddams@yahoo.com)