(updated 7 Sep 08) 

All these people get double the Rat's Asses because...well, go read our totally non-interactive forum to find out why. :)

Boobie Scarf

The Tri-Winners:

A lifetime of sushi often results in mercury deposits in the central nervous system. (seeker@vcoms.net)

"Ah so! I asked for a double breasted jacket!" (SahDogMom56@aol.com)

Those things won't keep you warm...they're obviously cold already. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

The Runners Up:

Just look at the six boobs in the foreground of this picture! (rod.renner@juno.com)

Fill 'em up with beer and you've got the #1 new best selling fraternity gag gift! (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

After failing to medal in their respective sports, Xin Gao and Li Xiaoshung are subjected to the public humiliation China reserves for big time losers. (skibip@aol.com)

"Let's go find some Dickies to match." (maxcel200@aol.com)

Announcing the new Hooters opening in Beijing. (tphyll@aol.com)

Gadzooks! Knock-off Knockers! (retrometro@rogers.com)

Problems giving your kids that all-important sex talk? Now it can be even more uncomfortable. (CaptainCrazee@hotmail.com)

If you take this scarf off, it leaves you flat! (retrometro@rogers.com)

You should see the belts they have in the next aisle. And don't even think about the fanny packs! (kirstenlmsw@gmail.com)

First the purse, then the bra in the road, now this...are you TRYING to kill my self-esteem, huh? (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

There's probably a really good reason we're not seeing the bottom half of this photo. (ParisIuvsMe@aol.com)

Now in several sizes: short, medium, and grandma. (stan@squidworks.com)

"You're right, mom. It IS a bit nipply in here." (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com; dennisilvr@aol.com)

Just think of all the money you could save by simply wearing this instead of paying all that money on plastic surgery. (retrometro@rogers.com)

I see they all come with tattoos...their moms will be so upset. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

Isn't it funny how age will do that to most women anyway? Pretty soon we'll be able to wrap our own around our necks. So, what is the point to this scarf? (GerriHan65@aol.com)

I don't know about you but I am soooo getting everyone these for Christmas! (AntKitty@antics.org)

Now available at "Bed, Boobs and Beyond". (CaptainCrazee@hotmail.com)

"Okay, real funny, Mom. Now let's go to the 'Penis Belt' booth!!" (ronxian@bak.rr.com)