(updated 8 Jan 07) 

On the Ski Lift

The Quint-Winners:

And Disneyland claims to be the happiest place on Earth. (spencerphilip.robinson@gmail.com)

The atmosphere at the porno ski club was like Slalom and Gomorrah. (maxcel200@aol.com)

For the first time since the Winter Olympics, snowboarding is getting a second look. (mr_sandmanx@hotmail.com)

It's a good thing for the piercings, or they'd have no place to hang the lift tickets. (stan@squidworks.com)

The latest hot spot for skiers, Unveil, Colorado. (rlrvsny28@optonline.net)

The Runners Up:

Just what I need to see...two more frigid women. (rlrvsny26@optonline.net)

These two Canadian ski hookers were eventually arrested by the Mounted Police. (maxcel200@aol.com)

"See Bob, I told you Beaver Creek was better than Vail." (Skibip@aol.com)

The up-side to global warming. (rlrvsny28@optonline.net; rod.renner@juno.com)

Jeff and Pete were hoping to go from the Alpine to the Supine position! (maxcel200@aol.com)

Is there anything more embarrassing than a high school reunion?

I don't care what you say, I think it's nice that Britney is getting out and doing stuff. (tainsam@aol.com)

Doesn't it seem like the line to get off the chair is longer than the one to get on? (mitchwatts@yahoo.com)

"You were right. The bunny trail IS for pussies." (mahoneycjm@aol.com)

Yeah, those girls are giving me a "lift," too! (strontium901@juno.com)

The first thing I thought when I viewed this photo, we have to get the Bush daughters off the booze. (humorbear@aol.com)

How the original X Games started!!! (steve_medel@oxy.com)

"Hey Suzy, my lips are getting chapped!" (tonkatalk@aol.com)

Ski Bums? No, that's just too easy! (redrumandkoke@aim.com)

Dumb and Dumber up ahead wonder if there tongues would stick to THAT! (luganrn77@yahoo.com)

The Playboy Bunny slope. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Skiing is always more fun in ASSpen. (guitartexn@aol.com; astae@paonline.com)

Thanks to these two, the trees won't be the only wood to look out for on the slopes. (MindgameFiziks@hotmail.com)

Even on vacations, for some reason, the paparazzi just won't leave Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan alone. (lexkase@san.rr.com)

Richard Simmons and Barney Frank admire the latest in carbon fiber snowboards. (Skibip@aol.com)

"These lift tickets were so expensive it even cost me the shirt off my back. What's your excuse?" (pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

Switzerland's top banks advised these women to freeze their ASSETS. (vinyllover45@yahoo.com)

Both Sara and Shelly, the seasonal snow sluts, literally go down on the slopes. (humorbear@aol.com)

Just when I thought I was over my crack addiction... (rlrvsny28@optonline.net)

New Olympic Sport: Snail Trail Slalom. (guitartexn@aol.com)

Damn, those new snowblowers are awesome. (Dspur57098@aol.com)

"You FORGOT them? Well, it looks like those guys up there have a couple of poles you could borrow." (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

A new meaning for the phrase "lifts...and separates......." (Robbuh@aol.com)