(updated 9 Nov 08) 

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Naked Bar Chick
(Submitted by seeker@vcoms.net)

The Tri-Winners:

"No, I'm not the stripper...my boyfriend is!" (retrometro@rogers.com)

Zelda cleverly tries to avoid a cover charge. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Sure, I've had days where I feel like I have nothing to wear too, but come on! (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

On a busy Saturday night Roberta came to the restaurant nude with no reservations. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Just wondering: Where does she put her change? (mashallah@aol.com; kirstenlmsw@gmail.com)

The answer to that age-old question," What do ya have to do to get a drink around here?" (ronxian@bak.rr.com; davidgotribe@aol.com)

Helen wasn't Jewish but that didn't stop her from celebrating her Bare Mitzvah. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Perhaps a breath mint would help? (madavis62@alltel.net)

Someone must've ordered a Pink Lady. (Airfarcewon@aol.com; luganrn77@yahoo.com)

She was hoping to get on "Girls Gone Wild", but all she managed was a horny guy with a camera phone. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

No one dares to look at Chuck Norris's date. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

That band must be really, really, really good. (Truckerex@comcast.net)

"Does my butt look big in this?" (imagine--that@hotmail.com)

Note to self: Why West Hollywood parties Suck!!! (magicskier@aol.com)

...Is that my sister? Damn it, not again... (YukiMerricoon@aol.com)

"This bod's for you!" (retrometro@rogers.com)

All the men at the gay bar dressed Rachel with their eyes! (maxcel200@aol.com)

She got tired of hearing the same "nice assets" pick-up line for the twentieth time. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

(REALLY drunk guy says...) "Hey, does anybody else SEE that? Somebody left a half-full cup of beer over there!! I wonder if they're comin' back?!" (ronxian@bak.rr.com)

I bet she wishes she used Dial. (luganrn77@yahoo.com)

"I'll have a 'Sex on the Beach' please, no ice." (SahDogMom56@aol.com)

"Damn, I knew I shouldn't have eaten Mexican before I came!" (jdcoops3@aol.com)

Booty and the Beasts! (ronxian@bak.rr.com)

What do you think the chances are of this getting on Facebook? (retrometro@rogers.com)

"How about some cheek-to-cheek dancing?" (tphyll@aol.com)

Joni took the dare to walk naked into a biker party. Nobody said she couldn't pick the Gay Bears on Wheels club. (kirstenlmsw@gmail.com)

"How can all those guys back there not notice me? I remembered to take off my wedding ring." (retrometro@rogers.com)

"Isn't this where the Sarah Palin impersonation contest takes place?" (tphyll@aol.com)

In a nude bar a little draft will never hurt you! (maxcel200@aol.com)