(updated 10 Jan 03) 

Twister Anyone?

The Winner:  Screw Iraq! Congress needs to do something to stop THIS! (jaynashvil@aol.com)

The Runners Up:  

Hey! Where did the brown dot come from? (Badjokes4u@yahoo.com)

Please God don't let me end up on skid row. (pandie76@hotmail.com)

God: And YOU Osama... YOU get the LOWEST LEVEL OF HELL!!! (hunterj@iwon.com)

One of the scenes in the discarded first draft of the current ad campaign for Cottonelle Bathroom Tissue. (amazingpfil@yahoo.com)

Marcia had the second-worst seat in the house. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

...but it would get worse, much worse, when the chili and boiled eggs kicked in. (necrodyne@excite.com)

Man, you guys! Don't you know that this can lead to dancing? (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

HEY!!!, were the hell did they find pictures of me, cause GOD I LOOK GOOD! (htwhamster27@optonline.net)

All the fun of college, none of the education. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

Despite what his friends told him, the "stripe" on Bernie's underwear was not slimming. (y2patton@yahoo.com)

Parker Brothers' attempt at advertising towards the scantily clad ugly people crowd. (smashgood@canada.com)

If you think this is bad, you should see what happens AFTER they have a few drinks. (CShettler@msn.com)

Ad tag line: You'll never be too pooped to play "Twister". (andadayplusone@aol.com)

Bob should have spent his money on a jug of bleach instead of another greasy burrito. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

I am beginning to question that whole "Superiority of man" thing when I see stuff like this. (kaylor@mail.com)

What friends do on the weekend....in Hell. (Truckerex@wmconnect.com)

Eroticism at its absolute very worst. (kaylor@mail.com)

If you think this is arousing, kill yourself. Now. (MooseSpeak@aol.com)

'Strip Twister', coming soon to 'Playboy: Loser'. (Stan790@aol.com)

"All right, I'm not opening the Crisco until Lenny changes his underwear." (kirstennetsrik@yahoo.com)

Four good reasons for government enforced sterilization. (deezine@aol.com)

It was then I found out about his 'dirty' little secret. (avit.web@verizon.net)

The game ended when everyone refused to put their right hand on the brown stain. (ccnjbob@aol.com)

My life would have been a lot simpler today if I hadn't clicked on your site. (theshape79@cox.net)

Dick Cheney and staff try to relax at an undisclosed location. (seeker@vcoms.net)

Everyone scrambles for the last beer at the company New Year's Eve party. (dakotadave57104@yahoo.com)

If the game's inventor were able to see this, it never would have made it to the stores. (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

This was much more fun when it was the 70's. (bongobill0767@aol.com)

"Alright, who farted?" (tomcnagy@hotmail.com)