(updated 10 Jun 04) 

Duct Taped

The Co-Winners:

You can tell it's great art when the eyes seem to follow you around the room. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

Harvey's wall. Bang her. (agoudie@cableone.net)


The Runners Up:

"NICE TRY!", Mary laughed boldly as the apartment manager once again tried to hand her another eviction notice. (fbmarz@earthlink.net)

Good sport, "Monty", gets ready to participate in yet another of David Letterman's increasingly bizarre "CBS Mailbag" sketches. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Still not as tacky as the velvet Elvis that used to hang there. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Nobody realized just how serious Ruth was when she said she was "sticking" to her diet. (MrglsJon@aol.com)

...now Billy-Bob likes his sex kinky...but bein' kinda slow ...he still forgets to undress 'em first... (allen018@aol.com)

Janet thought her initiation as a pledge at Phi Delta Campa was over, but then the "night of a thousand feathers" began on her feet... (pigbella1@aol.com)

You got so duct up last night... (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)

Vera's secret yearning of "wish I could be a fly on the wall" goes horribly awry. (guitartexn@aol.com)

Ladies and Gentleman, my ideal date. (gambleandbluff@aol.com)

Years later, in therapy, Katie would recall how she was abDUCTed. (Electronicwaffle@yahoo.com)

This is the most tasteless thing I have ever laid eyes on. No not the girl, the hideous couch! (zenphoenix@yahoo.com)

Shari demonstrates the Red Green hair removal method. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

Vera's boyfriend is hard of hearing. He thought her sexual fantasy was to be "duct" against the wall. (guitartexn@aol.com)

Talk about your back against the wall, in a sticky situation. (lacee7700@aol.com)

Lisa wasn't sure the Trading Spaces idea was such a good one. (terdeis@shaw.ca)

And the hardware prophet said, "Yea, an angel of the Home Improvement Store shall visit you..." (chharget@aol.com)

No, really guys! I gotta pee! Guys?! (rochford@netaus.net.au; khalazdad@adelphia.net)

Stuck-up bitch. (jaynashvil@aol.com)

Bess' friends wanted to test the theory that some people look good wearing anything. (chharget@aol.com)

In this family, there's "grounded" and then there's "REALLY GROUNDED!" (skibip@aol.com)

So, you never have done the bondage thing before, have you? (Joker@TheKidders.com)

'Girls Gone Wild'...Home Depot Magazine's swimsuit edition's cover picture. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Well that's just "ducty". (sagient@msn.com)

Hi! I'm the duct tape fairy. Mind if I stick around for a little while? (miahunt@bellso.net)

Apparently the kids in school are correct when they say that Emily is stuck up. (skibip@aol.com)

Gee, Mom, I told you I was gonna hang around the house tonight!! (pat123z@aol.com)

When Ralph and Millie's daughter, Heather turned THAT age...they knew, with today's society, they'd need a special chastity belt. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Spiderman's formative years had more to do with panty raids then crime fighting. (gambleandbluff@aol.com)

Let me guess. A wall flower? (AnmchiraE@aol.com)

Duct Tape: $3.99. Repainting the wall: $43.50. Keeping your daughter from dating that loser: Priceless. (chharget@aol.com)

After taking a hit of acid and claiming to see giant, human-eating spiders on the wall, Janet's sadistic friends decided to take acid also...tape her to the wall, and watch. (miahunt@bellso.net)

Okay, that's the last time Ripley baby-sits!! (rochford@netaus.net.au)

The human sconce strikes again! (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

Is this a live example of "pictures are hung and people are hanged" when explaining proper use of English. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

Meanwhile, her crackhead roommate thinks she is seeing angels. (Qwerty700@aol.com)

Since there is no snow is Southern California, Bridget settles for making a "wall angel". (chefrandy@charter.net)

How MacGyver keeps his dates from leaving. (sagient@msn.com)

The ad read: "Interactive Wall Art" participant needed for new exhibit at the Metro. No experience needed, hangout and chat with visitors. (Ripster40@yahoo.com)