(updated 11 Aug 03) 

The Chase Is On

The Co-Winners:

The Bride Piper (borkat@aol.com)

Mike couldn't escape the feeling that the ladies were making veiled threats. (reidayork@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

"Oh crap, how drunk was I last night?" (belushimcc@yahoo.com)

The Last Man On Earth (murdoctor@aol.com)

Bridal Wave!!! (dinosaur1972@aol.com)

What's more terrifying than the running of the bulls? Why, the running of the brides, of course. (e-merlin@sio.midco.net)

"Come on, girls, only one more mile to the Utah state border!" (MrglsJon@aol.com)

What a shame, these poor women have a straight eye for a queer guy! (Ososexilexi@aol.com)

ABC's latest reality dating show...all you have to do is tag the groom and he's yours! (DA6030@cox.net)

Bill Clinton's favorite dream. (skibip@aol.com)

Brad's thoughts in this instant: "Do they make a box of Trojans THAT big?" (wiselady34@hotmail.com)

Auditions for "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire" got a little out of hand. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Bill's habit of borrowing $650 from every girl he dated comes back to haunt him. (changetion@yahoo.com)

This is not what I had in mind, when I ordered "Girls Gone Wild: Volume # 2"! (tackajoey@aol.com)

Startling new research shows that the popular 'Showing Up at Work Without Your Pants' dream has now been surpassed by the 'Typical Male Anti-Commitment' dream. (kamasushi@aol.com)

The worst is still to follow... all those mother-in-laws! (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

When proposing by e-mail.. make sure not to use the "global list" option (FPARSONS@Yahoo.com)

"Look girls, it's 'Rico'! The last single disease-free straight financially-secure homeowner in America!" (monetmonet@artlover.com)

They always say a man's biggest fantasy is two women or more at once. Goes to show you need to be careful what you wish for. (Lil0kimie@aol.com)

Women's Nike Bridal Shoes: Just do it! (Sugarbaybee69@aol.com)

"Wear a gown, get into 'Gigli' free? We want our money back, Affleck!" (jaynashvil@aol.com)

"As a feminist, I resent the implication that women are desperate gold-diggers and . . . the diamond ring had how many karats? Eight? Get outta my way, sister, he's mine." (lexkase@san.rr.com)

That's the last time I place an ad on the Internet. (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)