(updated 12 Aug 05) 

Truck On House

The Tri-Winners:

"When my wife left me, she said she wanted the truck on top of the house. Well, she got it!" (jnmcda0@yahoo.com)

For Sale: Fixer-upper, 2 BR, 2 BA, 2 car garage, skylight. (penpendisarapen@yahoo.com)

"Well, I figured out how to get that truckload of shingles up on the roof, now I guess it's time for a beer." (barmer@imap3.asu.edu)

The Runners Up:

"Darlene said she wanted an extra bed upstairs and dang-it, I gave her one." (shep@peoplepc.com)

"Dudes! I'll be back with another case of Bud after I find my truck!" (RWich928@aol.com)

"After getting my second doctorate from Harvard a receptionist at my practice turned me on to Methamphetamines and, as they say, the rest is history". (DYCROUT@yahoo.com)

Mick Jagger promoting the Bud Tour in Luverne, Alabama. (jdcoops3@aol.com)

"You know, they really ought to take down that billboard...it's a real eyesore!" (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

"Screw it - it's a rental! Matter of fact, they both are. Cheers!" (DYCROUT@yahoo.com)

"... and the best part is that I will be able to collect on my homeowner's AND auto insurance." (shep@peoplepc.com)

"Okay, guys, I give up. Where did you hide my truck?" (stan@squidworks.com)

Next on "Confederate Home Makeovers". (razcactus@netzero.com)

"Shit no, it ain't stuck...it's outta gas!" (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

"Yep, I done it on my first try!" (esh3404716@aol.com)

"Hey, Keith - guess where the hell I bloody parked your pickup from the Steel Wheels tour?" (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

"Hey Bubba...tornado hit the beer store, too! Muhahahaha." (lacee7700@aol.com)

"I know man, can you believe it only took a twelve-pack to do that!" (nstn@statefarm.com)

Be careful, Amazing Colossal man. Those power lines are grounded! (HerzogVon@aol.com)

"MTV, thanks for pimpin' my trailer!" (mikepena@verizon.net)

"See, I told you I wasn't too drunk to park the truck!" (shep@peoplepc.com)

"I always wanted a mobile home!" (penpendisarapen@yahoo.com)

Evil Knievel's "other" son. (BRE727@aol.com)

"I'm laughing because I just saved a bundle on my car insurance!" (watch4whales@yahoo.com)

Bob decides to keep drinking the next morning for fear he might give a shit when he sobers up. (jsalava@charter.net)

"Yeah... It's got a HEMI." (MindgameFiziks@hotmail.com)

If you can drink beer, scratch your balls and keep your head while all about you are losing theirs...you're drunk! (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Mick Jagger shows that the rolling stones can still party harder than any of these newer wienie bands. (wintermaza@hotmail.com)

"Ha ha, my bud's on the house! Get it? Get it?" (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

"I had to stand on top of my truck... on top of my house... but I was finally able to reach the cable lines and hook myself up with the Playboy channel fer free!" (darkmanwork@hotmail.com)

"Good news boys! I didn't spill my beer!" (redcherri817@yahoo.com; nstn@statefarm.com)

Meet Bob Smitz...your typical vagrant..on what was, until now, just an ordinary day... turned suddenly into to a day of hellish destruction and frenzy...because Bob unwittingly opened a cool 'Budweiser'...when the alignment of the planets and stars and the gods ordained it was actually supposed to be 'MILLER TIME'...as he entered the Twilight Zone! (maxcel200@aol.com)

It's just like the way thay park them cars in the big cities. On the roof. (ESH3404716@aol.com)

You might be a redneck if...well, you get the idea. (HerzogVon@aol.com)