(updated 12 Sep 04) 

Football Practice

The Winner:

"Fifteen yard penalty...unnecessary roughage!" (maxcel200@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

The Way-too-Full Back (fparsons@yahoo.com)

It's a fifty "lard" run! (AnmchiraE@aol.com)

Soon Roxanne realized if she was gonna pull this off, she would have to find a suitable sports bra. (bittenbysharks@yahoo.com)

Despite his objections, O'Brien was moved from tight end to wide receiver. (cmndrnineveh@aol.com; paracletus3@aol.com)

When the girl from the last PhotoLaughs contest is about 50 years old, this is pretty much what she'll look like. (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

Well, ... at least the shirt hides the pig's skin. (RasGold@cox.net)

There was a definite bulge in the offensive line. (chharget@aol.com)

Guess which one used to be a bowler? (shanman452@aol.com)

Walker misinterprets the coach's advice about needing guts to play football. (JOSQUARD@aol.com; L1061S@go.com)

"Man! You're costing us the game. How many times are you gonna line up offsides!?" (maxcel200@aol.com)

"OK.... Who drank all the Gatorade?" (JwbZwcFng@AOL.Com)

I wish they still used those croaking frogs for the BUD commercials. (hizerbree@aol.com)

"What d'ya mean, you ARE sucking it in?!" (TheWhineCritic@aol.com)

"Whew! Thank God the cheerleaders are gone." (L1061S@go.com)

Instead of a six-pack, Bubba had a keg. (Larwoman@aol.com; tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

He's some receiver, alright! He receives every fast food delivery that we order. (AnmchiraE@aol.com)

Encouraged by five years of playing video game football, Willie "Strong Thumbs" Benson takes up the real thing. (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

The scouting report on the West Buffalo All-Stars' defense is that they're, "...a little soft in the middle." (chharget@aol.com)

Ralph was hungry and technically, a football is made of cow..... (jajuta@comcast.net)

"The Longest Lard", now in theaters near you. (noncomposmentiss@aol.com)

The future No. 1 draft pick of the Green Bay Porkers. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

With one child at home and one on the way Brenda hopes a football scholarship will help land that degree. (richdiandkids@optonline.net)

The Pillsbury Doughboy reports to camp; undercooked and badly out of shape. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

"Hey, you know, those black socks really DO have a slimming effect". (jd8375@msn.com)

Nazurski still needs some work on the old "hide the football" play. (skibip@aol.com)

Bob thought he'd help out and bring along his own tire to football camp. (KatSut78@aol.com)

Since ole' number 88 couldn't see his feet, he was not aware that today was ankle socks day. (ehross@aol.com)