(updated 14 Mar 04) 

Gas Nozzle Problem

The Co-Winners:

He was given a DWI: Driving Without Intelligence. (zenphoenix@yahoo.com)

"Damn! That means I left my gas cap at the pump again!" (mashallaha@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

"No, no problem ......you just forgot the change for your million dollar bill." (TZMAC@aol.com)

"May I see your license, registration, insurance and AARP membership card please?" (Chick65@aol.com)

Jim gets another Exxon his driving record. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

The scary thing is, it wasn't self-serve. (witsend@sevinex.com)

"Could you pull a little closer to the pump, sir?" (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)

WOW!! And I thought I was being RIPPED-OFF at the pump! (missabunbun@aol.com)

Two officers injured while standing in the middle of the road laughing and taking pictures with their backs to oncoming traffic. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

"Sorry, but I'll have to write you up for Dragging on main street." (Ppaycash@aol.com)

Finally, hard evidence incriminating the 'auto-erotic' subculture. (waterhobo17@aol.com)

"I see on your license that your hair color is blonde." (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

"Sir, I stopped you because your tail light is out." (mcsestretch@hotmail.com; kevbob270@yahoo.com)

Earlier that day, the driver of the truck passed a '76 Pinto, called the driver an idiot and laughed. Oh.. the irony! (Coypsyche@aol.com)

"Hello, Occifer." (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

"I'll let this go for a bite of your cruller." (BikeMike101@hotmail.com)

"It IS a good thing I left in a hurry, officer, because when I looked in my rear view mirror there was this huge explosion!" (fbmarz@earthlink.net; chharget@aol.com)

Must be another Canadian tourist... those stupid hosers. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

"Why yes officer, I did stop for gas recently. Why do you ask?" (witsend@sevinex.com; YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

A Clear Channel exec telling a driver he cannot listen to the song "Detachable Penis" from King Missile in the privacy of his car. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

"Officer, a tornado hit the gas station and tore it away from my truck." (nhinchcliff@yahoo.com)

"But officer, I thought gas prices would be cheaper if I brought my own nozzle..." (brwneyedcuuty@aol.com; Kitsune910@aol.com)

A redneck gets caught trying to steal a gas station by attaching it to his car. (bblack17@hotmail.com)

Electric cars won't catch on until they get rid of those extension cords I tell ya! (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)