(updated 14 Oct 05) 

Fixin' the Truck
(Photo sent in by Jankath)

The Tri-Winners:

In a few moments the term "pickup truck" will become a desperate cry for help. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

Their patience was rewarded as the redneck auto mechanic was lured into the trap. (DaJakAiss@optonline.net)

Zeke was determined to either fix the muffler, or earn a Darwin Award trying. (murdoctor@aol.com)



The Runners Up:

Isn't it nice of OSHA to give their employee of the month a day off to fix his truck? (dennisilvr@aol.com)

It's amazing these people actually had the time to vote for Bush. (DaJakAiss@optonline.net)

"Before" picture of a board to death redneck. (dennisilvr@aol.com)

This photo was taken two seconds before Joe leaned back to admire his work with tragic consequences. (rod.renner@juno.com)

Don't worry. It won't be up here long, I just need to do a quick weld on the gas tank. (mashallaha@aol.com)

Hey! Two more 2X4s and he could have a 4X4. (L1061S@go.com)

I'll bet he is using Sap-on tools too. (mashallaha@aol.com)

Around town he is known as the DUKE of HAZZARDS!!! (fooclmao@yahoogroups.com)

He doesn't know Jack. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

I'd bet a six-pack this isn't the dumbest thing this guy has done. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

'Bubba, you Idjit! That ain't how you siphon gas!' (thedraugr@yahoo.com)

"AGAIN !.... Pump the gas pedal this time.... Again!... try it in gear" (DaJakAiss@optonline.net)

Seems like an awful lot to go through just to work in the shade. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

Is it any wonder why women live longer? (motorbreath2000@netscape.net; nstn@statefarm.com)

"Yes, hello Darwin Awards? Please hold, I'll be with you in a minute..." (zounds13@yahoo.com)

I don't think the truck is the only thing just running on two pistons! (kyzka2@yahoo.com.au)

After this drunk showed up, the owner realized he meant to call AAA. (maxcel200@aol.com)

"Yes, Honey, my life insurance policy is up-to-date. Why do you ask?" (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

Willard would soon find himself sorry that he didn't vote YES on "Prop 2". (HerzogVon@aol.com)

"X*&%$#@+!!! I forgot my flashlight again! Well, I'll just use my cigarette lighter to find this broken gas line...." (fbmarz@earthlink.net)

The off-Broadway production, "TRUCKERS", depended heavily on it's use of props. (paracletus3@earthlink.net)

Lesson #43: When you do something really stupid, remove license plates and anything else that might identify you. (skibip@aol.com)

"That's the last time I order a 'Bubba's Wonder Jack'!" (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

"It's a good thing I'm drunk. I'd never do this sober." (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

Mere moments later, a slight breeze made Billy Joe wish he'd invested the $20 in a jack instead of that damn GED course. (Kamasushi@gmail.com)

Later Gomer's next of kin would win a multimillion-dollar lawsuit against the truck manufacturer by claiming he was not adequately warned not to do that. (zounds13@yahoo.com)

HOLY SHIT! THAT TRUCK IS MISSING A REAR BUMPER! (drmccullers@aol.com)

If you ever need a mechanic in Pisa, you're in for a surprise. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

"So THAT'S what's been causing that buzz! There's a Mini-Cooper stuck under here!!" (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

He's got the television sitting on his floor jack, so what else was he supposed to do? (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)