(updated 15 Apr 04) 

Bathing Dude

The Tri-Winners:

"He drops the soap, you pick it up. Read your contract." (Ripster40@yahoo.com)

All of Spiderman's foes in one place? It was perfect. Too perfect. Must be a trap. (gambleandbluff@aol.com)

"Now he swears it's this big...but no one's ever seen it...including him." (ALLEN018@AOL.COM)

The Runners Up:

"Well, you can just UN-liposuct that mess back into him, or we've lost our star attraction!" (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

A slight variation to the Chinese recipe for "Won TON" soup! (Belgmorris@aol.com)

The remake of "The Greatest Show on Earth" starring Danny DeVito, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Marlon Brando as Pepi the Human Slug. (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

"Hey! Yeah, you with the stick... can you help us pry this guy out of here?" (spjk2k@aol.com)

Danny says, "Vinnie, would you PLEASE stop bathing the fat man in the tub we use to boil the hot dogs? People are complaining that they taste soapy." (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

"Have you seen a small rubber duck....about this big?" (reakinhavoc1971@aol.com)

Ron Jeremy and Christian Slater star in "Scrubbing Bubbles". (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

"He has to stop eating all the 'side' shows!!!" (Sugarbaybee69@aol.com)

Attn HMO.com please contact me immediately, I don't remember signing any release forms. (bonniekurtca@sbcglobal.net)

Barnum and Bailey argue over who is going to wash the underside of the Human Giant. (reakinhavoc1971@aol.com)

"Now listen here, Junior...you were hired to wash the elephants - now it's an honest mistake...but not again." (ALLEN018@AOL.COM)

"You say there's only five inches of actually water in that tub??" (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

It's worse than it looks, he's standing up in there. (MindgameFiziks@hotmail.com)

"...and I'm a gonna stand right here until the Bearded Lady comes up for air. I know she's in there with you." (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

"Forget it, Jake; I have too much dignity for a 'Three Men in a Tub' joke!" (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

"But, PLEASE! I told my daughter I'd get Jabba's autograph ........." (TZMAC@aol.com)

"I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let you go...you're not pulling your own weight." (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

"..and if you do a good job, we'll promote you to elephant cage clean-up." (powerpuffs@aol.com)

Disney's new movie "Free Tubby" is not expected to do well this summer. (zenphoenix@yahoo.com)

"Please, for the love of God, use the tent!" (deweyever@attbi.com)

"Dumbo said he's the money attraction here and is demanding first bath from now on!" (missredread@aol.com)

"See, I told you he makes his own gravy." (spamalope@access4less.net)

Wait till the FCC see that exposed nipple. (gambleandbluff@aol.com)

DeVito: "That's nothing, this is the size of my 'Big Fish'" (Electronicwaffle@yahoo.com)