(updated 15 Jul 05) 

Big Bike

The Co-Winners:

"Now, as a bike messenger, you'll have three things to look out for: kids, trucks and 'low clearance 'underpasses." (HerzogVon@aol.com)

"And if you slide off the seat and land on this bar, you'll be able to say your name really loud." (toohip4rm@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

Harvey Wallbanger, the inventor, was known for his High Balls. (maxcel200@aol.com)

After looking at the evidence, the Judge in the case easily decides whose bike it is. (Penguann2@aol.com)

"And this is where I crushed my nuts falling off the saddle." (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

That bike don't mean a thing if it ain't got Yao Ming. (lexkase@san.rr.com)

'A bicycle built for 1 1/2' (maxcel200@aol.com)

"If the brakes don't work, just stand up. One of Newton's laws of motion will work great for you." (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

Would you believe that these two are exactly the same height? The bicycle is just oddly proportioned. (No. 7 in a series of Optical Illusions.) (HerzogVon@aol.com)

"Now I can get twice as much Chinese food delivered in half the time." (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

"As you know, I couldn't test ride it for you, but, I think it works." (davidgotribe@aol.com)

Isn't he a little too old for a "big wheel"? (bhsmrtgrrl@yahoo.com)

Although short in stature, Wildon shows how tough he is by renting himself out as a human kickstand. (maxcel200@aol.com)

"All done. Now all I need to do is install the little bell on the handlebars so people will know you are coming." (mashallaha@aol.com)

"I'd show you how to ride it, Yao, but I still have hopes for children one day." (giraffic_art@yahoo.com)

"Can you beat Lance Armstrong on it? Hell, you can squash him like a bug!" (HerzogVon@aol.com)

"We Lilliputians present you, Gulliver, with this custom, hand-crafted bicycle to help better promote the idea that we'd REALLY appreciate it if you'd quit beating us up and squashing our homes." (Lovepeaceguy68@aol.com)

"As you can see, it's Yao size." (TheWhineCritic@aol.com)

"When the white rabbit showed up you drank out of which vial???" (lynder_mh@yahoo.com)

"This is a one-owner trade-in. Mr. Bol says he only rode it on Sundays." (shep@peoplepc.com)

It had become obvious to Harry the bicycle salesman that the Chinese are not obsessed with miniaturization like the Japanese.... (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)