(updated 17 May 04) 

Sunroof Talk

The Tri-Winners:

Hello sir, this is OnStar. Our sensors have just indicated that you are an idiot. Do you need assistance? (Truckerex@insightbb.com)

"I thought this was supposed to be a side street!" (submax@charter.net)

Later, when trying to sell his Lexus, Bill could honestly tell people, "It never had a problem turning over." (witsend@sevinex.com)

The Runners Up:

At Nationwide Insurance Company, we're on your side. (murdoctor@aol.com)

"When I said to take it for a spin, I didn't mean literally." (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

"No, I don't know how I am going to explain this to my wife. And I am not coming out until I think of something..." (agapeagent@yahoo.com)

Congratulations, Sir! You just passed the Billy Joel driving test. (gyneka1@aol.com)

Thinking quickly, Clem "uses his head" to keep the Lexus from rolling over any further. (witsend@sevinex.com)

"I find it goes a lot faster when all four of those black things are on the ground." (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

"Remember in fifth grade when you called ME a dork?" (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

"You dropped your toupee." (motorbreath2000@netscape.net)

"Hello, Bubble Boy." (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

Even after rolling his car, Mitch was hell bent on winning the stare down competition. (robtone247@yahoo.com)

"O.K. I got it to turn over. Now what?" (ahines3103@aol.com)

"Do you mind if I just point and laugh until the ambulance gets here?" (zenphoenix@yahoo.com)

"Is the marble still in rolling in the seams?" (borkat@comcast.net)

(Hick), "Uh, yeah, I'd like a Big Mack, and (hick) some fries and a coke." (lexkase@san.rr.com)

Why you should distribute the weight of your bankroll evenly when traveling with it to fill your SUV at the gas station. (witsend@sevinex.com)

"My son put those darn hydraulics in my car ..and I'll be damned if I pressed the wrong button again." (allen018@aol.com)

"Let's see, that's left on Main, two blocks to Elm St. parking lot is on the right, and the AA meeting is on the second floor. Thanks." (astae@paonline.com)

"Would you believe I had just FINALLY adjusted my side view mirror exactly where I wanted it?" (murdoctor@aol.com)

"I think we've found the reason that your driver's side door is sticking, sir." (spamalope@access4less.net)

"The waitress handed me a plateful of dinosaur ribs and the next thing I knew..." (jaynashvil@aol.com)

"Hey buddy! (hic) Get offa my roof!" (rochford@netaus.net.au; Truckerex@insightbb.com)

"Damn it! My beer spilled!" (AnmchiraE@aol.com)

First ever American Indian built car. Listens for trains coming. (borkat@comcast.net)

"Being a parking valet's not as easy as it looks, is it?" (chharget@aol.com)

Juergen believed that bumping his head repeatedly against an overturned vehicle would eventually earn him a spot in "The Blue Man Group". (HerzogVon@aol.com)

"Say, can you help me please I've fallen and I can't get up." (Kelmye9@aol.com)

"I'm sorry, officer, I'm REALLY bad at parallel parking!!" (tmhayes18@cfl.rr.com)

"...I don't understand, I just had my wheels balanced and everything." (L1061S@go.com)

"Sir...just a wild hunch on my part but were you coming from the '2 Fast, 2 Furious' Movie Premiere?" (Ripster40@yahoo.com)

While as a car it was a flop, Max soon realized it did make a bitchin' fort. (borkat@comcast.net)