(updated 18 Jan 03) 

Timber

The Winner:  Lumber Jackass (deezzine@aol.com)

The Runners Up:  

The latest Power Ball winner shows off his new sawhorse. (fparsons@yahoo.com)

For sale: Red 1990's Chevy 1/2 ton stepside p/u, minor body damage, runs $100 obo. (rocesblader02@hotmail.com)

Dewey Timberlake's Profile: Truck - Candy Apple Red. Sweatshirt - Candy Apple Red. Nads - Candy Apple Red. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Don's sportin' some serious wood! (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

Cletus still has a few snags to work out in his new "Pickup with a Trunk" design. (internutt9@aol.com)

Phil's logging trip was a smashing success. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

"Hey guys look, I'm pinching off a log...Hey what the hell happened to the truck!" (theshape79@cox.net)

Like he's the first guy who's gotten wood playing with power tools.... (SpinyNorma@aol.com)

"Whew, Jethro!!! Good thing THAT one didn't end up in my backside!!!!" (tcp374@aol.com)

"1, 2, 3 - Yup, looks like that tree WAS only three years old Bubba, guess you win the bet, here, take my truck." (kamasushi@aol.com)

Executives at Ford proving that Chevy is in fact NOT 'Like A Rock' (Stan790@aol.com)

"Thanks Jim, but I wanted the firewood split BEFORE you put it in my truck." (glacier@nwlink.com)

Trees: Built tougher. (forms@beige.f2s.com)

"Stay in the truck honey, I'm gonna go see what that noise it." (Stan790@aol.com)

"I'll deal with the truck AFTER I get this log out of my ass!" (skibip@aol.com; egroeg@comcast.com)

"I'll get those damn beavers if it's the last thing I ever do!" (glacier@nwlink.com)

"Oh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK..." (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net; mcsestretch@hotmail.com)

This is the cruelest cut of all. (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

"Will this get me on Jackass, or do I have to have it fall on me instead?" (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

He's only smiling because his mother-in-law was in the passenger seat. (kamasushi@aol.com)