(updated 18 Jun 03) 

Emu Racing

The Winner: 

Okay, where is the little 8-year-old brat's birthday at!?! (mirroringbeauty@aol.com)

The Runners Up: 

It is hard to believe they are ALL single? (mkmeirish@aol.com)

The Not-So-Special Olympics (casstigator@yahoo.com)

Arnie was pissed off enough when he found out there were no orange emus left, when all the good masks were taken too, he vowed revenge. (dannyboy4343@aol.com)

Em R Emu? Em R not. Em R ducks. CM wangs... (agapeagent@yahoo.com)

An example of off track betting...in Poland. (allen018@aol.com)

Rumsfeld, Bush and Martinez: What really goes on at Camp David. (lacee7700@aol.com)

The track will soon be instituting a two beer maximum. (Pootybrew@earthlink.net)

OHHHHHH.... and number 1 sneaks up and is just a pecker head... er I mean a pecker ahead!!! (jeriandgeo@aol.com)

You mean the primary race is on in Iowa already? (skibip@aol.com)

This is hardly Emusing! (wdonovan28@aol.com)

The Greeks invented the Olympics, while the Geeks invented.... (murdoctor@aol.com)

When reality shows run out of material. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

Not only is the medication not working... (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

Ahhhhh! Runaway merry-go-round! (gonnabmeeee@aol.com)

What will those silly French think of next. (iamzachmo@msn.com)

And my parents said I would never amount to anything! (IR2Odie@aol.com)

Just one week after Funny Cide failed to win the Preakness, Dummy Cide won the Dorkness. (lexkase@san.rr.com)

The stupid people are thorough-breeding. (Mistahtom@aol.com)

Here are the Oompas from Willy Wonka emulating the new X-box version of 'Joust'. (Angeleyes1437@aol.com)

Recent rejects from the popular new reality series, "Sesame Street: Beyond Belief," compete for the coveted Wild Card spot. (Twistylitlminx@aol.com)

They say a picture says 1000 words. Apparently a few hundred of these words involve ridicule. (Stan790@aol.com)

They really need to tighten admission standards at Super Hero Training Camp. (jaynashvil@aol.com)

Democratic presidential hopefuls are jockeying for position. (Rem7202@aol.com)

Most men get cherry red convertibles when going through their mid-life crisis... (LDAhome@aol.com)

What has four legs, two arms, and no brains? (Ttifranks9@aol.com)