(updated 20 Apr 03) 

Surgery
(Courtesy of Peep Surgery ...if you've never seen this site, check it out...it's quite entertaining)

The Winner: Following sugary, Peeps are kept in intensive karo for a few hours and then assigned to a basket. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

The Runners Up:  

"NURSE!....I said I DIDN'T want a peep out of the patient!" (mykehalpinstudio@aol.com)

When Dr. Jamison advertised that his breast augmentation procedure would produce the "sweetest tits you've ever seen", he wasn't kidding. (rodentsRred@hotmail.com)

"What the....? Nurse, I said stirrups, not syrups!" (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

"Alright..stiff upper bills you guys..This could land us all on the cover of Peephole Magazine." (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

Dr. Philby examines some purple "Peeps" that lay undigested in his patient's stomach since 1962. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

"Here in San Francisco we use environment-friendly Karo corn syrup instead of petroleum-based KY jelly. Say, isn't this your third prostate exam this month?" (lexkase@san.rr.com)

Bob's HMO didn't cover anesthetic anymore, so a good sugar buzz would just have to do if he was getting his appendix out today. (corabelle@comic.com)

Armed only with his amazing medical skills and a bottle of Karo syrup, Dr. Alan Jones attempts the impossible... to make Peeps edible! (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

"I can rebuild them. I have the technology." (jeanjeanbsmyth@aol.com)

Separating conjoined pentuplets is a delicate procedure, complicated by recent controversy in the 'hood over whether it be cannibalism to eat one's "peeps." (TerriKlein@aol.com)

Guest Chef on "Martha Stewart - Living" complain as Martha brings cleanliness in the kitchen to new heights. (Hartspill@aol.com)

Dr. Tuttle assured Mrs. Butterworth that her husband's blood transfusion was a routine procedure. (rodentsRred@hotmail.com)

Needles?Check. Soldering iron? Check. Corn Syrup and ice tray? Check. "Ok honey, if this doesn't spice up our sex life, I don't know what will!" (kidproton@hotmail.com)

"I'm telling you Mohammed, this is how the infidels made sticky bombs in Saving Private Ryan." (samuraikc2002@aol.com)

The Easter Bunny is due in for his annual enema of marshmallow chicks and Karo syrup. (fcapps@aol.com)

"I'll teach him to make fun of Proctology." (mashallaha@aol.com)

Difficult separation surgery would be tricky... most don't survive, some are eaten. (StanYan1@aol.com)