(updated 20 Aug 04) 

Goat Trick

The Tri-Winners:

Raja the Magician's attempt to turn his widget into a computer fails miserably when he mistakenly tries to load it heavily with GOAT instead of RAM. (maxcel200@aol.com)

...a Hindu balanced meal.... (allen018@aol.com)

Sahib, doomed to an unsuccessful career, confuses snake charming and goat herding. (rose_justice@msn.com)

The Runners Up:

Bound at the feet and perched on a narrow pedestal, the animal somehow freed herself once again. It was then that Vikram realized that he had indeed found the perfect escapegoat. (robtone247@yahoo.com)

Neighbors admire Omar's new "Goat Lamp" he just picked up at the Baghdad Home Depot. (Truckerex@insightbb.com)

At the State Fair they'll sell anything on a stick. (tainsam@aol.com)

...because he doesn't have a rabbit, and he doesn't have a hat. (AnmchiraE@aol.com)

Impressive, but I still will NOT eat them with a goat, Sam I am! (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

...but can he balance a checkbook? (chharget@aol.com; jaynashvil@aol.com)

When you live in the middle of nowhere you have to make up stuff like this . (submax@charter.net)

The Indian dope trick. (maxcel200@aol.com)

"Yo dude, check out this hood ornament I just jacked." (zcktomcat@aol.com)

"What the heck! Where did you come from? You just killed my dancing frog, you stupid goat." (maxcel200@aol.com)

"I know it's a good trick, but Letterman will not fly you in from Syria!" (jdcoops3@aol.com)

Of all the Arabian street magic acts...this one really kicks butt! (maxcel200@aol.com)

Most people spin plates on sticks, this is un-Baaa-lievable. (phil@aol.com)

A Third World Merry-Go-Round (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

"So I pull this string and the light goes on?" (Fealy@verizon.net)

A Superglue commercial, rejected for US audiences, proves quite effective in Pakistan. (jenalt2001@yahoo.com)

Sanji's mother had told him a thousand times not to play with his food. (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

The best balloon animal artist in the world. (davidgotribe@aol.com)

I'm more impressed by the miniature kid standing on his shoulder. (rochford@netaus.net.au)

Horrified onlookers witness yet another "goat jacking" (L1061S@go.com)

"Easy! He's scared of mice." (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

ShiThead had just got his goat balanced when HeBad pulled on the goats nads...they both are expected to get out of the hospital in two weeks. (dorr@jam.rr.com)

Late Night with Sirajul and Mujibur. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

Snoop Dogg's cane keeps on getting more and more ridiculous. (zcktomcat@aol.com)

You know it's time to cut down when you find a goat while cleaning your bong. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

New from Whammo, it's the "Po-Goat Stick". (nonomposmentiss@aol.com)

"Hey, wake up! Some kid's playing with my ass!" (rochford@netaus.net.au)

"Larry Hagman rubs a lamp and gets Barbara Eden, I rub it and out pops this friggin' goat. Life sucks." (nonomposmentiss@aol.com)

The Dowelie Lama (Mistahtom@aol.com)

Despite the goat's ruminations on the quiet desperation of its own pathetic existence, he slowly closed his eyes and took solace in the fact that his hapless trainer was only nanoseconds away from experiencing the mother of all farts. (spjk2k@aol.com)

"Ok, the...... alright, the flange connects to the....... Where did I put those damn directions?" (borkat@comcast.net)

Not surprisingly, the gold medal for goat balancing in this year's Olympics went to Pakistan. (razcactus@netzero.com)

Rejected album cover for Wing's "Ram". (TheWhineCritic@aol.com)

The Indian Version of JENGA (Madleenluv@aol.com; fbmarz@earthlink.net)

"Get your dirty goat feet off the mouth piece of my flute, I have a snake to charm..." (claudzillatwo@aol.com)

"I am sorry that I cannot let you get any closer, but I have Angoraphobia." (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Apu demonstrates, yet again, how he achieved the title of "King of Tasteless Lawn Ornaments". (jd8375@msn.com)