(updated 23 Jul 05) 

Against The Wall

The Co-Winners:

If I ever have to "assume the position", I hope it isn't under a sign that says "Receiving." (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

They'll all be somebody's "bitch," but the one on the left has a head start. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

The Runners Up:

Four of them were packing heat, one was in heat. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

The cop frisked the men but the pooch was already frisky. (rod.renner@juno.com)

Another crime ring broken up thanks to the work of detective Sam Spayed. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

All five suspects were collared. (rod.renner@juno.com; murdoctor@aol.com)

"Our Gang" gets busted. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Due to a courtroom mix-up, these petty criminals were sentenced in dog years and will not be eligible for parole until 2027. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

These reenactments of the "Saint Valentine's Day Massacre" become more pathetic with each passing year. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Yeah, an, here's a pic of the time me an my dawgs got busted... (brat.cat@verizon.net)

"Never been arrested before, eh? How come your dog knows the frisk position?" (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

Just one of those weird coincidences..Rex actually just came by to pee. (maxcel200@aol.com)

When the "No Profiling" law goes too far. (threetreeshill@yahoo.com)

"Hey man, I told you, the dog ate your donuts." (skibip@aol.com)

Cop: "Yea, yea, and you little dog, too." (wintermaza@hotmail.com)

"Sorry 'bout this fella. You know, if I did this to you back in the old country, your father would have to give my father a dowry." (yvettesstuckinpa@yahoo.com)

"Frisking? I don't know about any frisking. I'm just looking at that guy on the roof dangling the tennis ball." (tpanner@inorbit.com)

The dog was actually looking forward to the impending search... (scalpel@aol.com)

The street value of heartworm pills rises astonishingly. (williemelmoth@aol.com)

"It's LEGAL for the dog to pee on the building. YOU guys are under arrest!" (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

The undercover police dog assumed the position so as not to blow his cover with the gang. (rod.renner@juno.com)

Officer Jones worked relentlessly to determine which gang member was responsible for biting the mailman. (jimmyd500@hotmail.com)

1985: Snoop Dogg and his posse during their first criminal arrest. (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

"Hey I saw 'Men in Black'. You can never be sure." (lynder_mh@yahoo.com)

Fido misunderstood when his owner said, "You're going back to the pen!" (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)