(updated 23 Jun 04) 

Walking the Dog

The Co-Winners:

The new "Sit On Your Asskins" diet. (lacee7700@aol.com)

"What's that, Lassie? You say Little Timmy has gotten old, fat and lazy, sitting in a lounge chair all day watching soap operas and Jerry Springer?" (murdoctor@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

They say we look like our owners.... walk ... walk..... faster..... Run!!! Run!!! (ItsmeBoo96@aol.com)

Ever have that nightmare where you run and run and run and then you look back and you've gone nowhere and that hideous monster is still right behind you? (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

"Yeah, Mom, I use the treadmill you bought me every day!" (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

"Yup, Lassie, you look a little fat in this episode" (BRE727@aol.com)

The dog was in uphill mode...Zeke was definitely in downhill mode. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Spot is getting in shape for the World Leg Humping Championship. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

"Faster, Lassie, the picture's fading." (deweyever@attbi.com)

His wife is offering 500 bucks for them to switch places. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

Lassie ran as fast as she could to alert the police of her owner's heart attack, but, try as she might, she couldn't make any ground. (robtone247@yahoo.com)

It seemed like a good idea...'till the awful yelp and hideous thump. (robtone247@yahoo.com)

I hope this dog knows how to use a litter box. (submax@charter.net)

Sorry, Lassie...all the training in the world wont pull Timmy's fat ass out of the well this time.... (allen018@aol.com)

After reading how many miles have been put on the treadmill, Dr. Johnson can't understand why Tom is gaining weight instead of losing it. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

What am I doing wrong? There is no question that dude is married...look at the floor... (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

Rick had seen enough of The Jetsons to know better. (pyanochk@stetson.edu)

"Lazy bastard doesn't know I peed in his cup... c'mon, get thirsty!!" (rochford@netaus.net.au)

You think this dog is well trained...wait to you see the one ironing Bob's clothes. (maxcel200@aol.com)

After a hard workout, Ralph was just dog tired! (airfarcewon@aol.com)

So far, the former Enron exec didn't think his cell was that bad. (RussWeiss1949@aol.com)

Ed loses the Iditarod again. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

Think of it this way Rover - if they can make a movie about that Garfield and his stupid owner... (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

OhmyGAWD...he's not using a coaster!! (gravitationalcollapse@yahoo.com)

Johnnie La Lane relaxes and enjoys his grandfather Jack's wealth. (Mauibrothers04@yahoo.com)

Isn't it time to hit the paws button? (skibip@aol.com)