(updated 23 Mar 03) 

Uh...Whatever
(Sent in by MistahTom@aol.com)

The Winner: Larry's accusation that Fraternities were merely an excuse for kinky gay sex infuriated Sigma Alpha president Lance so much that he bound and whipped Larry "like the little bitch he is." (lexkase@san.rr.com)

The Runners Up:  

Thirty minutes into the experiment, Bob wondered if 50 bucks was really enough. (Omegamagezero@aol.com)

If you thought American perfume ads didn't make any sense, you should see the ones in Germany. (laugh@starpower.net)

You do realize that someone, somewhere, is whacking off to this? [ I'd prefer not to know why. ] (HerzogVon@aol.com)

A typical fun filled day at Michael Jackson's Neverland Valley Ranch. (BikeMike101@aol.com)

"Dude, are you sure this is what the penis pump instructions said to do?" (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

Buford giggles with delight as he realizes he's just made the cover of "Tapeworm Weekly". (Whammy52@aol.com)

"OK! OK! I'll confess.... what did I do?" (Cantw82paint@aol.com)

Yes, Dr. Evil, all tests indicate that my new mojo stealing jump rope will be completed in time for the next crappy Austin Powers sequel. (whoismaximus@socal.rr.com)

"Dad, wouldn't it be easier to know when your mattress is fully inflated if you let me take this strip of tape off of my eyes? Dad? DAD?!" (HerzogVon@aol.com)

"All right...now tell me where you hid my Barry Manilow records!" (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

Obviously Medical school hazing hasn't been outlawed. (Jjambra@aol.com)

At Earl Scheib, we'll lethally inject anyone for only $99.95! (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Corey tries for his final Scout Badge, "Bondage and Torture", before being named an Eagle Scout. (JoyfulDJoy@aol.com)

The noise of the lambs. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

"Son! Stop that right now!! Use the rubber hose...it doesn't leave a mark." (MistahTomsDad@aol.com)

Alternate album cover for Devo's "Whip It" (e-merlin@sio.midco.net)

Testing of revolutionary new Whip-lash surgery. (internutt9@aol.com)

When Dave got plastic surgery, he had no idea that his girlfriend's ex would be the one working on his face. (misssyprincess@aol.com)

"Dad, why don't you just take an Ex-lax like everyone else?" (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

Childhood memory that prompted Bill Clinton to marry Hillary. (scottrobertvasey@yahoo.com)