(updated 25 Apr 05) 

Climbing Out

The Tri-Winners:

SIGN ON THE FENCE: "My petBull can make it to the gate in 2.5 seconds...can you?" (paracletus3@earthlink.net)

Miguel discovers the consequences for failure to observe the "No Tipping" sign. (williemelmoth@aol.com)

And this is the face Julio makes when he soils himself. (flynnkj19@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

"Maybe it's about time I rethink my list of top 5 things to do before I die!" (raefunnycrackpot@yahoo.com)

"CLOWN! WHERE THE HELL IS THE CLOWN?!?" (old.curmudgeon@hmoforum.com)

Musk cologne: The risks. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

Juan reconsiders his red pocket jeans a tad too late. (jsalava@charter.net)

The first dropout in Matadork School. (maxcel200@aol.com)

It's one thing to pick out your lobster at a restaurant. Steak is another thing. (jaynashvil@aol.com)

The Circle K Diet Clinic always made good on their promise: "We'll help you lose your ass in no time flat!" (maxcel200@aol.com)

Look, people really do look like their pets! (old.curmudgeon@hmoforum.com; imwednesdayaddams@yahoo.com)

"Please, God, if you get me out of this I'll never eat beef again!" (dart270@geocities.com)

This segment of our show is brought to you by the makers of "K-Y Jelly". (Eleman8859@aol.com)

At least Jose could look on the bright side: The cow had no horns. (dart270@geocities.com)

Sanchez realized that finding his "happy place" is no longer an option at this point! (reakinhavoc1971@aol.com)

When Matadors lose their concentration, other things soon follow... (HerzogVon@aol.com)

It's happening in 'stock' yards across the country: people that were Bullish on America are now bailing! (maxcel200@aol.com)

Jose's lonely adolescent nights as a cowhand came back to haunt him...as the cow got older... (paracletus3@earthlink.net)

When even Ex-Lax no longer works. (AutumnEagl@yahoo.com)

U.S. immigration are getting very close to perfecting their plan on stopping the flow of illegals. Above, a new attack bovine is being trained for 'Project Steer Clear'. (rem7202@msn.com)

While being chased by a belligerent bovine, Superjuan saves the day with his super-flatulence once again. (zenphoenix@yahoo.com)

If he waits for just a second, he might get some help getting over that fence! (dakotadave57104@yahoo.com)

John waited in anticipation knowing he was going to get the licking of his life. (jeanjeanbethsmyth@aol.com)

Pedro had to learn the hard way why you should never mimic a bull. (tmhayes18@cfl.rr.com)

At first, Juan Valdez thought a stronger animal was a good idea... (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

Jose tried to explain to Buford the Cow that he had no beef with him. Buford didn't find Jose's bull very funny. (KatSut1978@aol.com)