(updated 30 Mar 03) 

Attack Dog

The Winner: "Yip-yip-yip-yip-yipeee-ki-yay, mother #$%@#!"
(archerjoe@hotmail.com)

The Runners Up:  

Rhino, a German Shepherd with 5 years on the force sniffing amphetamines, is set to retire. (amazingpfil@yahoo.com)

"ARF! ARF! I'll show you bad dog! Look what I left on the seat!" (jeanjeanbsmyth@aol.com)

His narc is worse than his bite. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

I know they were saying that a decrease was coming in the war on drugs...but this is ridiculous... (TTIFRANKS9@AOL.COM)

"Yo quiero Krispy Kreme!" (e-merlin@sio.midco.net; ABigBlackPanther@aol.com)

K-9? More like K-2-1/2! (junkmailmagnet24@aol.com)

"Sure, you scoff. But what if I told you that's not a ping-pong ball in his mouth." (Omegamagezero@aol.com)

"Oh, shut up...you wanted him instead of the killer rabbit I insisted on." (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

Dwarf drug lords had had their day in the sun, but soon they would know justice... (WillyTheTunaFish@aol.com)

Well? If there were nine of them they could lick you to death. (kayladykay@aol.com)

"Killer!!! You got arrested again?" (gymcanary@aol.com)

The Taco Bell dog got a new job, thanks to www.monster.com (Stan790@aol.com)

The plan is to throw Fi-Fi at escaping criminals, thus rendering them into a disoriented state of surreal disbelief and confusion... (WillyTheTunaFish@aol.com)

"I had to punish him for humping the TV during a 'Lassie' rerun." (Cantw82paint@aol.com)

Pepe here is a member of the elite K-9 drug enforcement team. This brave dog routinely retrieves drugs hidden in the body cavities of suspects. (DaJakAiss@aol.com)

And thus began NBC's hottest and newest prime-time drama show - "Law & Order: K-9 Unit". (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

Despite his "shortcomings", Chico's uncanny ability to jump and latch onto a felon's testicles earned his the respect of his co-workers. (pigbella1@aol.com)

Well, actually, it's a very large car! (L1061S@go.com)

BAD dog? That's the worst excuse for a dog I've ever seen. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

Titan decides to start a career in law enforcement months after his mishap involving his very fat owner and a very tiny lawn chair. (Saxmann361@aol.com)