(updated 30 Sep 05) 

Diving Tank

The Tri-Winners:

"Dear David Blaine: Hope you die this time." (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

"I can beat you upside down, standing on my head, in a tank of water..." Who knew you'd take me up on it? (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

Not what Billy had in mind when they told him he was gonna get tanked. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

The Runners Up:

"This guy's obviously not gonna get out in time. We might as well measure him for the coffin now." (sheafitz1@netscape.com)

"Flutey" Tartaglione shows Pauly Walnuts how the Chicago Bears are gonna win the Super Bowl on a very special episode of "The Sopranos".... (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

The final exam in 'Underwater Basket- Weaving' 101 has a mean extra credit section. (Kamasushi@gmail.com)

"I'm not sure I want to play Tic-Tac-Toe...look at what happened to the last guy who lost!" (d_lofland@Hotmail.com)

"I realize the war isn't going as well as planned...but we have trained the SEALS to play Tic-Tac-Toe upside down under water, so the $31 Billion wasn't completely wasted." (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

Their intelligence on the rise, dolphins at Sea World have taken to pulling frat-house pranks on their keepers. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

Though Ted Williams' head is off limits, you can view the body of Mickey Mantle, seen here preserved in a large tank of gin. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

The sobriety tests at the Naval Academy are harder than most. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

Mrs. Clairmont tries to figure out whether she can afford the larger than usual lobster at Sharkey's-on-the Pier in Encino.... (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

"I hope that O stands for oxygen, because I'm running out of it!" (dennisilvr@aol.com)

A Think Tank? No, a Think Twice before diving into it Tank. (ESH3404716@aol.com)

It was the third time this month that Jeff left an Alka-Seltzer in his pocket. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

Guesting on a VERY simplified revival of TV's "Hollywood Squares", Sandy Duncan discovers just what REALLY happened to Paul Lynde...! (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

"Ok, one more round of naughts and crosses then lets play ker plunk!" (kyzka2@yahoo.com.au)

Jeremy, during a training session for his attempt to swim directly to China. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

After some 50 years, Cal Tech students are trying to figure out what caused Houdini's death. (wintermaza@hotmail.com)

"According to my math the fart bubbles rise at 48 ft per second." (remadj@sbcglobal.net)

The most unusual thing is he chose the corner square first. (rsherman@netplexgroup.com)

"So THAT'S what an upside down 'X' looks like." (dennisilvr@aol.com)

Handicapping the better Tic-Tac-Toe player gets a little out of hand. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

Kenny's friends played a cruel trick when they suggested a foolproof cure for the hiccups. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

"See mom! Told you I didn't need a college education!" (mcsestretch@hotmail.com)